


Angel Eyes: The Sequel

by odeon



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Humor, Lesbian Sex, Music, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 04:45:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6315478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odeon/pseuds/odeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Therese and Carol after the recital? This is a sequel to my previous fic named Angel Eyes so if you're not familiar with it, this one won't make any sense at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time After Time

**Author's Note:**

> You really thought I could leave these guys alone? Think again. And yes, this is just a lame ass excuse to pick yet another list of songs to go along with it...
> 
> The first ones in a playlist which promises to be rather eclectic:
> 
> Stephanie McCallum: Trois Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1 (Erik Satie)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5eW5CYzJ3KIDjcZ5FksiCl  
> Ute Lemper: The Lavender song  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/4goqW5jRSGzFSVDZyrbM3I  
> Yo-Yo Ma: Unaccompanied Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, BWV 1007: Prélude (J.S. Bach)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/17i5jLpzndlQhbS4SrTd0B  
> Margaret Whiting: Time After Time  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5j9HUr2izjXctYvgKF4GoW
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

”I miss Mommy.” Rindy sounded gloomy. Therese turned away from the piano wondering if it was Erik Satie that had put the little girl in such a sad mood. “I know. So do I, sweetheart.” Sitting down beside her on the sofa, she wrapped her arms around Rindy and placed a tender kiss on her temple. “So do I.”

Carol had been away for two weeks already and it was uncertain when she would be back in New York. She was promoting her new album with live performances in ten cities around the midwest and it was taking its toll on Therese. They’d been apart for shorter periods earlier but this time it was more difficult than ever.

Helping Rindy with her homework, she remembered the trip they had taken two years ago. The very first one they had had together – the first and so far the only one, she thought begrudgingly. It had been a wonderful journey with several stops on the way, Carol making her mark yet again in the music business.

There had been a lot of interviews and concerts all along but it hadn’t felt like a strain or a nuisance since everything about it had been new and exciting. Everything about the two of them sharing, possessing a miracle had given the working holiday a happy glow of its own.

She had loved seeing Carol bask in the glory of her comeback and having her lie in her arms at the end of each day in luxurious hotel rooms across the state of California. It had all been perfect, truly an erotic dream of love, and – all too brief. She knew she couldn’t be the piano player in Carol’s shadow forever, Carol wouldn’t hear another word of it after having heard her performance in the recital, but the price they were paying for it felt way too steep now. For here she was fulfilling her own obligations, her own ambition, while Carol herself was what seemed to be thousands of miles away.

They talked over the phone every single day but how could it possibly replace the intimacy she so longed for? The connection and the closeness she relished in their relationship? It had all happened so fast, Carol’s success and Therese launching a career of her own, they’d forgotten to form their own routine, their shared pattern of living. The everyday lives of two performing artists just didn’t seem to come together, she sighed turning her attention once again to Rindy who was suddenly lost in thought.

“What is it?” she asked smiling encouragingly at the pensive girl. “Oh nothing…” Rindy replied but Therese wouldn’t accept her evasiveness as an answer. “Come on, you can tell me.” She had gotten to know Rindy pretty well over the past two years. She was now a very bright ten-year-old who divided her time between her parents’ houses.

“It’s just something what grandma said the other day…” Therese braced herself for whatever it was that Carol’s former mother-in-law had done this time. “She said that it’s not natural for two women to be together like you and Mommy are.” _Of course she did_ , Therese thought, getting angry and irritated at the same time. “That it is an abomination to God or something.”

Gathering her sheet music, Therese tried to remain calm. “Quite a big word – abomination – having to do with disgust and hatred… hmm, what do you think for yourself? Do you think God would find my love for your mother somehow disgusting?” She struggled to keep her voice soft and gentle. “No, of course not”, Rindy started, “I just don’t understand why she keeps telling me these things.”

Therese remembered the time she and Carol happened to bump into Mrs Aird at the Farmers’ Market and how she had panicked and let go of Carol’s hand. “Don’t you ever do that…” she had smiled at her and wrapped her arm around her narrow waist. “Hello, Lauren,” she had joyously greeted the older woman keeping Therese even closer than usual. The frozen expression and the hurried nod Harge’s mother had managed to whip up had had them laughing a few moments later.

“People are afraid of things they know nothing about,” she explained. “And don’t you worry about God. Remember what your Mom always says: love is love.” Therese wished Carol could be there with them right now to hug her little girl and to assure her that everything was right in the world even though her grandma couldn’t see it.   

* * *

“Hey girl!” The voice on the phone belonged to Abby. “Hi! What’s up?” Therese was always happy to hear from her. “Well, what isn’t..!?” she snorted, “I just wanted to touch base and find out if we’re still on for tomorrow?” They were supposed to go over her performance calendar for the upcoming months. Abby was, after all, her agent now. She had lived up to her promise to make Therese Belivet an up-and-coming pianist. “Sure. Is it okay if I’ll swing by your office, say, around noon?” She could hear Abby leafing through her agenda – she still preferred the printed ones. “Splendid. Let’s make it a lunch then, there’s quite a lot I need to talk over with you. Toodle-loo!”

Therese dialed Carol’s number. She was in Chicago at the moment so timewise they were almost in sync now. The call was picked up after two rings. “Hello, darling…” the soft voice murmured. “Are you still in bed?” Carol’s sleep cycle never seized to amaze her. “I’m afraid I am. The gig last night started after midnight and I had to do three encores.” She was yawning. “You poor thing…” Therese teased tenderly. “I _am_ a poor thing cooped up in here without you… and then I had to have a very, _very_ late dinner with some record company execs who insisted on talking till the early hours of the morning.” Therese could picture Carol wasting her time in some boring restaurant trying to appear interested in what the self-important suits around her were trying to get across.

“How are you, dearest? What are you wearing..?” Her voice was dripping honey. “Your daughter just left so I’m not ready for phone sex just yet.” The suggestive tone of Carol’s voice made Therese happy, though. “Too bad because I could really use some right now… I suppose I’ll just have to service myself after we hang up and draw from my fantasies of you,” Carol implied in mock disappointment. Therese could feel her heart beat faster. She hated the idea of not being present when Carol was in the mood.

“How is my little girl? Everything alright?” She was wide awake now. “Oh she’s wonderful, we had the most amazing morning playing and just kidding around.” Therese wasn’t going to mention Rindy’s anguish over her grandmother. Why upset Carol with something she couldn’t take care of right now anyway? Besides she had done a pretty good job herself, she thought.

“She misses you, though… as do I.” She couldn’t and wouldn’t hide it. “I know, darling, I miss Rindy and I miss you terribly. When I get back, I promise to make it up to you both.” She could hear Carol sigh on the other end of the line. “And when would that be?” she asked a bit too eagerly. “Soon. I’ll hear more about my schedule later today when I have a meeting with my representative.” It wasn’t what Therese wanted to hear, yet she’d been hearing it a lot lately. “I’ll talk to you later, darling.”

* * *

Therese looked around the apartment Carol had bought soon after her recital two years ago. She lived on Madison now, in one of those houses she had always dreamt of. Leaving Harge’s “space shuttle” behind, she had only brought along the bed the two of them had become so attached to. According to Carol, it was after all “the first bunk they had frolicked in”, so she just couldn’t part with it. Therese, though, had briefly toyed with the idea of a canopy bed.  

Therese had more or less moved in with her, bringing along one thing at a time thus leaving her own flat quite desolate. She didn’t know why she hadn’t given it up altogether but right now she was happy she hadn’t – Gen was living in it at the moment.

Gen and Alex had broken up three months ago, and Gen was a wreck. To be honest, they were both miserable, and Therese didn’t understand why things had taken such an unfortunate turn. She had tried to talk things over with both of them but to no avail. There had been tension building between them for some time – it hadn’t escaped Therese or Carol – but it hadn’t seemed so out of the ordinary. They’d always been a quarrelsome couple, they’re dynamic had been based on it, Therese argued but Gen wouldn’t have any of it.

“Alex is a moron who doesn’t deserve me. You should’ve seen the floosie she was out with the other night… seeing _her_ was an insult to our five wasted years together!” _Floosie?_ Okay, Gen tends to exaggerate _a bit_ , she thought and ill-advisedly tried to calm her down. “How on earth can it be an insult to you if you’ve already gone your separate ways? She’s only trying to cope just like you are.” This brought about yet another angry outburst from Gen – who finally ended up sobbing on her shoulder. _I should just shut up_ , Therese thought hugging her tightly.

Alex was no less a sorry sight. Therese had kept in touch with her too, although it had become exceedingly difficult her loyalties lying first and foremost with Gen. “I wanted us to get serious, to really think where _we_ were heading, not just keep goofing around like there’s no tomorrow… and then I got mad and drunk and acted like a total jackass…” _Nothing_ had happened, Alex had assured, she’d just flirted with someone she didn’t even give a rat’s ass about. Therese knew it, and Gen knew it too, but for her it had been the last straw.

The break-up had done wonders to Gen’s musicianship, though, Therese had to admit. Every time she went by her old apartment there she was, slaving away with her cello. She had even been admitted to a master class given by Yo-Yo Ma, an honor bestowed only upon select few.

Therese had been positively psyched about Gen’s news but she herself couldn’t quite join in her excitement. “Nah… what good can it do for me? I’m such a yo-yo mah-self…” Well, at least she still managed to laugh at herself every once in a while.

* * *

Carol didn’t call later nor did she pick up her phone when Therese tried to reach her. It went straight to her voicemail. She knew Carol was giving a concert the same night and she hated to interfere with her concentration but she could feel her irritation building up just the same.

Pacing nervously around the darkening apartment she put on a record Carol had just made and dedicated to her. Therese longed to hear her voice and if this was the only way she could now have it, then be it so.

 _Time after time_  
_I tell myself that I'm_  
_So lucky to be loving you_  
  
_So lucky to be_  
_The one you run to see_  
_In the evening, when the day is through_  


Therese imagined Carol walking in, throwing her jacket over the chair in her familiar, carefree manner, coming to her.

 __  
_I only know_  
_What I know_  
_The passing years will show_  
_You've kept my love so young, so new_  


_And time after time_  
_You'll hear_  
_Me say that I'm_  
_So lucky to be loving you_

Not wanting to lose her scent from the bed linen, she had refused to change the sheets Carol had slept in the night before the tour. Now she clung desperately to the last whiffs of her evocative perfume still lingering on the pillow right next to her.

She felt miserable and utterly alone without her.                                  


	2. Blood Makes Noise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The second chapter is here and the songs as well:
> 
> Liza Minnelli, Joel Grey: Money, Money  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1F4zbhudB8k1kO0oGnWODi  
> Glenn Gould: 6 Little Preludes, BWV 933-938: Praeludium in C Major, BWV 933 (J.S. Bach)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/4dyrVj7ErXOwDkhkvyTP1g  
> Ella Fitzgerald: Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/3Af5mnEdqMlclULC67d7yG  
> Suzanne Vega: Blood Makes Noise  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/77QCsV6XQFx4kbyTf3yf6U
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

”Hey you… I’ve really missed your cute little face!” Abby hugged her tightly. Therese was beaming. It was wonderful to see Abby again even if just for business. Not being able to be with Carol, it was the second best thing. “When did you get back?” she asked. “The day before yesterday”, Abby replied, “I’m so happy to be back, you can’t possibly begin to understand how very tedious it’s been…”

Abby had been touring with Carol for a week or so, and she did look exhausted. “I’d be happy never to look at my phone again… for a while I was certain it had attached itself to my ear for good.” Amused, Therese couldn’t help but chuckle at her remark and the pained expression she had on her face.

“Carol sends her love”, she smiled hugging her once more. “I’m sure she’d like to send you a lot more as well, but I guess it would be inappropriate of me to start channeling her in more detail..?” Abby winked mischievously. Therese made a face at her not really being annoyed at all. She thought of Carol and sweet warmth pervaded her body. “It would be, indeed,” she confirmed smiling.

“I thought we’d have time for a proper lunch but no such luck. Therefore I had something arranged in here.” A table for two was set in the adjoining meeting room. They sat down to eat flipping through their respective calendars.

“There are quite a few performances for you this month alone but I’m sure you’ve got them down already?” Therese nodded. “And I have spectacular news for you…” Abby looked very excited. “What? What?” Therese demanded. “…you’ve been accepted to take part in the next _Helsinki International Maj Lind Piano Competition!_ It’s you stairway to the stars and the big money…”

Dumbfounded, Therese just stared at her. “You heard me! _The_ competition for young pianists!” _Oh my god…_ “There will be three rounds in the competition and the repertoire must be performed from memory with the exception of the commissioned work in the second round.” Abby handed over the notes she had on the matter. “It’s a tough spot with strict guidelines, but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that, right?” No, she didn’t. Therese could already feel tension building up. This was something she had never done before and she would have to start preparing for it right away. I'll start with the Bach prelude tomorrow, she decided.

“So you’re excited, yes?” Abby poured some Merlot in her glass. “Of course… I’m just…” Therese started, “…completely blown over by this.” Sipping her drink, Abby flashed a lovely smile. “You’ll do splendidly, honey. You need to talk this over with Mrs French as soon as possible, I presume?” Mrs. French was her piano professor now after Mrs Robichek had told her there was nothing new she could teach her anymore.

They toasted for the good news and ate in silence for a while. “You happen to know anything about Carol’s schedule for upcoming weeks?” Therese asked her thoughts drifting once again to her lover. “Sure. Hasn’t she told you about them already?” Abby looked surprised. “Four more weeks of concerts and press junkets. She’s going to be one busy girl… I don’t envy her.”

The fork Therese had lifted stopped in midair which Abby was only too quick to notice. “Listen, I know this is hard and I happen to know she’d love nothing better than to be here with you.” Therese kept staring at her half empty plate. “You do know that, right?” Still she didn’t say a word. Why hadn’t Carol told her about it if it had all been decided already? Why wasn’t she been made part of these decisions? Angry and frustrated, she ignored Abby’s question and ate the rest of her food. It tasted bitter all of a sudden.

* * *

“When were you going to tell me about it?” she demanded over the phone. “Darling, I just found out yesterday and tried to call you this morning…” Carol sounded way too flippant about it, she thought. She had missed her call, though, that much was true. “So we’re going to be apart four more weeks?” Her voice was angry now.

“Dearest…” Carol started, “I don’t like the tone of your voice, not one bit, especially since I’m not at all happy about it either.” She paused for a while. “Do you want me to just drop everything and come home?” Of course Therese didn’t. “I will if you want me to.” Depressed, Therese let out a sigh. “I don’t mean it like that, you should know better.” Another pained pause. “Why don’t you come over here for a couple of days? We could be together, at least wake up together every morning…” There was hopefulness in Carol’s voice.

Therese thought it over but she couldn’t just take off and forget about the work load ahead of her. “The Carnegie concert is coming up next week and I’m still not ready,” she said feeling rotten, “Maybe later, I’ll think about it.” But she knew already she wouldn’t be able to steal away for even a little while. She’d spent the late afternoon discussing the competition with Mrs French who had told her in no uncertain terms how huge an undertaking it would be for her. The first round alone consisted of six different works she wasn’t yet too familiar with.

The call left her sullen and morose. Picking up her overcoat, Therese left the apartment she couldn’t stand for the moment. She needed a change of scenery, she needed Gen.

* * *

“So, how’s your friend?” asked Katherine Cantrell passing Therese a bowl of potatoes over the dinner table. “Friend? _Your friend?!_ ” exclaimed Gen glaring at her mother. “She’s _your_ friend too if you’ve happened to have forgotten!” Gen wasn’t going to let her mother off the hook. “Her name is Carol and it’s not like they’re having some sort of a Boston marriage either! She’s Therese’s lover, her significant other, if you will – it wouldn’t hurt you to face the facts every once in a while, now would it?”

Therese sank in her chair hoping she’d just leave it at that. Gen’s brother Charlie was snickering on the other side of the table. “No need to raise your voice, Genevieve”, Katharine snapped back visibly upset. She had a hard time picturing her old friend having intimate relations with a woman of her own daughter’s age.

"Well, how’s your… how is Carol?” she acquiesced to. Fuming with righteous indignation, Gen settled for a sigh. “Oh, she’s fine. Busy, but fine,” Therese replied not wanting to elaborate on the subject. “I bet she is, with a new hit record up on her sleeve and all.” Katherine sat down and laced her well-manicured fingers together. “It must be very exciting for her… to be the center of the attention again, everyone lavishing her with grand gestures and attention.” Therese stiffened in her chair.

“She used to be quite a wild girl in her day. At about your age, Therese, if I remember correctly.” Gen sprang to life all of a sudden. “Sounding positively envious there, Mom? What the fuck’s your point?” _Let it go, let it go…_ “Mind your language, Genevieve, I mean it!” Katherine’s voice was livid. “We have a guest at our table and I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate your foul behavior any more than I do.” She could see another Cantrell family feud building up. This was starting to be yet another fucked-up evening in the life of Therese Belivet.

* * *

“I’m so sad and lonely I could scream,” she confessed to her friend later when they were sitting at her old family room. “Don’t mind my mother, she’s an idiot,” Gen explained, “she’s just a frustrated house wife with nothing meaningful to do except be on my case all the time…” Therese knew she wanted to cheer her up but right now she was beyond cheering. “At least you have a girlfriend, for Chrissakes – someone who truly loves you.” Gen put her arm around her. “This is just temporary. You’ll work things out.” _I wonder_ , she thought not being able to shake her uneasy feelings away.

Gen’s mom had hit a nerve even if she was reluctant to admit it. Seeing pictures of Carol in the tabloids and all over the internet, strange people stopping by Carol’s official website leaving lovesick messages on its fan wall made her increasingly nervous. I’m being silly, Therese reminded herself knowing full well such things meant nothing to Carol who probably hadn’t even taken the time to browse her own site. Still, it rattled Therese.

“Have you heard anything from Alex?” she asked Gen just to change the subject. “No… not since the drunken call a month ago…” Gen looked at her sharply. “Have you… heard of Alex?” Her expression was one of a wounded puppy. “No. I just thought you might have heard something,” she said hastily. “She must have started her job at the Met, though.” Alex was an art historian. Gen stared ahead not saying a word.

“What happened with you two?” Therese really wanted to know. “I don’t know, the obvious, I guess.” _The obvious?_ Therese was puzzled. “I suppose it was – to a certain extent – the age old case of LBD once again…” Gen started reluctantly. “LBD? What the fuck’s LBD?” she inquired.

“The Lesbian Bed Death. It usually hits somewhere around the two-and-a-half year mark, but I guess it took a bit longer with us.” _What the hell? After two years?_ All the alarms within Therese’s body went off. “Jesus, Therese… I didn’t mean it happens with all the couples and definitely not with you two!” Gen was squirming. “And it’s a stupid myth any way, something some straight asshole came up with in the 80’s…”

Therese buried her face in her hands. _Did Carol stay away because she didn’t want her anymore???_ “Therese, honey – oh I’m so stupid I could just kick myself – it really has nothing to do with anything. Sexual attraction, or the affinities Dannie is so keen to talk about, is not something that just comes and goes.” Gen was desperate to get it right. “I mean, of course we all have to keep working on it, you know, keep the relationship alive. Me and Alex, we just slipped into our routines… we forgot to take care of it.” She sounded sad, regretful.

“You and Carol, you two have nothing to be afraid of. I’ve never seen two people more in love or more in lust with each other.” Gen rubbed her cheeks gently. “It’s written on both of your faces every single time I see you two together and I’m so friggin’ envious – and so friggin’ happy for you guys.” Wiping away a tear, Therese leaned her head on Gen’s shoulder. “I just miss her so much it’s killing me.” Cuddled close together, they stayed on Gen’s bed for a long time.                         

* * *

Therese left around 9 PM. Gen had asked her if she’d like to go out later on but she didn’t feel like it. Besides she wanted to call Carol. She would also need to practice tomorrow, really focus on it from now on.

Having dialed Carol’s number, she waited. No reply. Therese tried again. Nothing. Not even her voicemail.

Thinking of going over her email, she opened her lap top and the web browser. Without really giving it another thought she typed Carol’s name on the search engine and waited… the hits were piling up one after another yet only one captured her attention instantly. She clicked on the TMZ link:      

> _Carolyn Ross is back in LA with another string of hits – and look who is also stringing along… none other than her former squeeze, the record company executive Lou Williams. Sources connected to Lou tell us the relationship between the comeback queen and her faithful male servant may very well be heating up…”_

WHAT THE FUCK?!? Therese was gasping for air. The grainy news photo of Carol with an unknown man beside her was spinning in front of her eyes. Panic stricken she got up on her feet trying to understand what had just happened. _Breathe, breathe,_ she repeated to herself unable to keep it together anymore.

Her heart pounding in agony and her ears ringing, she could sense yet another set of emotions emerging. The anger and jealousy rising from a dark, frightening abyss within her, she picked up her cell phone and dialed.

“Gen, where are you? I’ve changed my mind. I’m coming over. I really feel like getting totally smashed tonight… yeah, no time like the present.”

Grabbing her coat she shot a fierce glance at the photo of Carol smiling at her on the mantelpiece. _Hell, if I’m going to stay here and pine after you while you’re… well, whatever the fuck it is you’re doing!_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it'll get fluffier - eventually... ;)


	3. Too Drunk To Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 Song List:
> 
> Milt Buckner: The Beast  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1PSLlFx0wZ8nTKmKdAjvFK  
> Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1TfqLAPs4K3s2rJMoCokcS  
> Charlene: I've Never Been To Me  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1XMa0MEa300eI0Eh0srJfT  
> Nouvelle Vague: Too Drunk To Fuck  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5cgfva649kw89xznFpWCFd
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

"The Beast is on the move..." Gen's gait had a breezy swagger Therese had never seen before. In fact she wished she wouldn't see it now either. "The Beast..?" she questioned, "What happened to the Super Sleuth of Manhattan?" Gen lit a cigarette checking her outlook in the shop window. "So glad you should ask! The Super Sleuth and The Beast are two sides of the same coin..." _Why, oh why did I ask?_  "Like Selina Kyle and Catwoman... ooh, I'd sure like to make her meow..." Gen had been celibate since the break-up and it showed. "You know, lick dat milk bowl, pet dat tail..." Therese was getting impatient. "Yeah, I get the point. You're horny as hell."

Therese had asked Gen to pick a bar for the night. As long as it served decent drinks, it would suit her just fine. And it had to be a women's bar instead of Dannie's. Preferably a place she'd never been to, at least not with Carol. She left the last part unmentioned, though. 

Gen was only too happy to oblige although she did find her wishes somewhat out of character. "What brought this about? You've never been one to frequent dyke bars..." True, she hadn't. Lesbian joints weren't actually Carol's scene so naturally they hadn't been hers either and it wasn't like she'd been visiting them before meeting her. "I just want to do something different tonight", Therese said evasivally, "to drink and be merry in a whole new atmosphere." Gen winked at her knowingly. "And merry we shall be! That much I can promise." 

* * *

Stepping inside a crowded Village bar, Therese hesitated at first. Something told her this wasn't necessarily the ideal way to deal with her inner turmoil. Remembering the cause of it, she however decided to ignore any doubts she had and followed Gen in. The place was swamped with customers, so they huddled by the bar counter. Gen knew the bartender as well as half the people going by. The music was loud and it hurt Therese's ears. She needed a drink and she needed it now - to numb the bass beat as well as the pain she felt inside.

"Let's do shots first," Gen hollered over the noise. A tray full of tiny glasses appeared in front of them. "Bottoms up!" They downed the first ones. "Here's mud in your eye!" The second shot went down just as smoothly. "How do they say it in that place where your competition's at?" Gen asked yelling straight into her ear. "Kippis!" Therese grinned and downed the third glass. She'd already googled Helsinki and Finland. "Kippis!" yelled Gen back, "It's always important to have your active vocabulary available in foreign languages, don't you think?" She was grinning wickedly. "I have three sentences I like to learn in as many languages as possible: ARE YOU OVER EIGHTEEN, YOUR PLACE OR MINE and PLEASE DON'T STOP." Therese laughed, and tonight it felt exceptionally good to laugh, she thought. By the time they had finished the whole tray, she didn't mind the music anymore nor did she mind anything anymore. The bar room around her seemed to buzz like a busy beehive without a single care in the world.

"Beer coming up!" she announced joyously almost tripping on her own legs while delivering a pitcher to a table Gen had managed to snatch for them. "Easy does it. Don't spill the booze, please..." she giggled and helped Therese to her seat. "I really, really, really got to get laid", Gen wailed gulping her drink, "I'm afraid I'll soon bust a major artery or something if this dry spell continues." Knotting her brow, Therese tried to focus on her pint glass. "Well, you'll have to do something about it then... and by the look of these people, I should say you've come to the right place, my friend." By this time pretty much everything was overtly funny, hysterical.

* * *

Gen took them downstairs to the club room. It was the 80's disco night which drove her absolutely mad. Therese refused to follow her to the dance floor. "Go on, I'd just frighten your potential prospects away." Gen seemed to find some sense in her reasoning and quit bugging her. Therese had the best time watching her dance. It wasn't exactly graceful but it was indeed provocative and attention grabbing. 

"Would you like to dance?" Therese turned to see a dark-haired woman about her age smiling at her. "No, I don't think so." The stranger didn't seem too put down by her blunt answer. "Well, can I offer you a drink then?" Therese looked confused. "Or are you here with your girlfriend?" She nodded towards Gen who was hogging the entire floor with her crazy moves. "No... I mean she's not my girlfriend." A broad smile spread on woman's face. _Shit_. "So how about that drink then?" She wasn't going to go away. "I have my beer already. But thanks." The woman shrugged her shoulders in mock disappointment. "May I at least sit with you for a while?" Embarrassed, Therese nodded. 

"You're one of Dannie's friends, aren't you." Therese didn't know what to say. "Aren't you going to ask me how I knew that?" The woman's gaze lingered on her body. "Well, I used to work there so I guess it's pretty easy to put two and two together," Therese managed to say. "No wonder Dannie speaks so highly of you... you're very bright - and very beautiful." _Oh fuck_.

"Would you like to go some place a bit more quiet? We could talk some more..." The woman moved closer which made Therese extremely uncomfortable. She thought of Carol who was so far away. A lump in her throat prevented her from saying a single word. 

"Hey, hey, hey! What's going on in here?" Gen pushed her way through the crowd. "Did she just give you the crap of not being my girlfriend? Terry, you're such a slut but I love you." Turning to face the intruder, she looked at her very sternly. "You, scram!" 

When they were finally left alone, Therese burst into tears. "Oh honey, what's wrong? Has something happened?" She told Gen all about the gossip column she had stumbled upon. "Good grief, Therese! It's TMZ, it's dirt, it's all lies, that's what it is!" She let out a long sigh. "It's good to show interest in humans every once in a while but not in a village bicycle - a Greenwich Village bicycle to be exact." Tears streamed down Therese's face, and Gen thought it best to take her to the quiet back room frequented by the slightly older crowd. "C'mon, it's not that bad. Here, be a good girl, dry your tears." Gen picked up a napkin and handed it to her.

"Seen anyone interesting?" Therese asked when her tears had finally subsided. "Nah... seems to be a slow night," Gen replied, "or I'm wearing a way too nice pair of knickers..." She winked at Therese relieved to find her smiling again. "I'm gonna get us some more drinks. No point wasting a good start, eh?" Therese wasn't sure if it was such a good idea being already far too inebriated herself. The incident with the unknown woman had sobered her up, though, at least some.

"Therese?" Someone was approaching their table. _What is it this time_ , she thought not at all sure if she was ready for yet another awkward conversation. Abby stood in front of her, smiling. Seeing her all of a sudden, Therese started sobbing again. She couldn't help it, couldn't hold back the tears at all. "Therese honey..." Abby began sitting next to her and putting her arm around her jerking shoulders. "Why are you sitting here all alone and why on earth are you crying?" Therese tried to say something but to no avail. 

Gen breezed in with the beer bottles. "What's going on in here?" Abby demanded turning to her. "She's been reading the gossip columns..." Abby strengthened her grip on Therese. "And..?" Gen looked at her sheepishly. "There was some crap about Carol and some guy..." Agitated, Therese drew a few quick breaths. "I see." Abby sighed. "And did you believe what you read?" She was too ashamed to answer. 

"You have a very warped view of Carol if you really think she'd be cheating on you." Abby looked serious. "But I'll let it slide this time knowing you're feeling so very vulnerable right now." She paused for a second to grab her hands. "There are a couple of rules in this business you need to know if you're going to stay sane in it. First, you _don't read_ anything printed or splashed out on the internet. Second, you _don't believe_ anything you happen to read or see, you hear me?" Therese nodded weakly. "These tabloids and sites, they thrive at digging up dirt and lies which have no relation to the way things truly are. That's what clickbait journalism is all about." Gen was only too eager to agree.

“What’ll you say we get out of here and take our business elsewhere? I could really use a real cocktail about now”, Abby asked not really expecting any resistance. “If you want to get wasted, let’s do it right,” she decided giving the beer bottles an exasperated look.

“She’s kinda hot, don’t you think?” Gen said when Abby was busy saying goodbye to her friends at the other table. “I guess so…” Therese mumbled surprised by her friend’s sudden remark. “I mean really hot…” Gen was wiggling her eyebrows. “Whatever happened to the Steakhouse Heiress?” she asked Therese. “Could you find out for me?” _What is this?_   “Just ask about it nonchalantly when I’m away, and then give me a sign later – two fingers if they’re still together, one finger if she’s single, okay?” _This is not happening…_ “Gen…” she started but was interrupted by Abby’s return.    

* * *

They went to Dannie’s. Therese was happy to be there, happy to see all the familiar faces once more. Giving Therese a meaningful glance, Gen went to pick up the first cocktails. “So, Abby, what’s up with you? Flying solo nowadays?” _Flying solo?_  Abby chuckled at her choice of words. “Yeah, I’m my own pilot these days. I had a bit of a falling out with Georgia, nothing serious, really, but we thought it better to cool our heels for a while.” Therese couldn’t quite figure out the sentiment in Abby’s voice. “So yes, I’m single. You know someone I should be interested in?” She cracked a delicious smile that made Therese blush.

Gen returned with the drinks. Expecting Therese to share her info, she kept kicking her foot under the table. Annoyed, Therese gave her the finger. The gesture had Gen grinning in no time. “Just to make sure, you weren’t just flipping the bird, right..? Right.” _I don’t fucking believe this_. “I need to come up with something…” Gen’s mind was in overdrive. “Something to grab her attention…” she whispered to Therese while Abby was talking with Dannie.       

They drank and talked some more, Gen lavishing her attention on Abby every which way. It amused Therese and she could see Abby was quite well aware of what was on her friend’s mind. Abby’s a smart cookie, she thought. Gen’s efforts were wasted, though, as far as she could tell. And she’s r _eally_ drunk, she realized having herself quit the liquor a while ago. Her thoughts drifting to Carol, Therese checked her phone only to find its battery completely dead.

When Abby excused herself to go to the ladies’ room, Gen finally came up with her grand idea. "I'm gonna do my number now..." she said getting up on her unsteady feet. She didn't look too good, and Therese wondered whether she should keep her from climbing on the stage. "Dannie – yo, Dannie!" But she was there already. "Can you... will you put it on?"  _Oh no..._ Dannie looked a bit bewildered. "You sure about this, Gen?" He exchanged glances with Therese. "Never been  _surer_  about anything else in my life..." Gen's speech slurred just a bit. 

She gave Dannie a sign when Abby returned to the table. "What happened here?" she asked Therese clearly surprised. Smiling, Therese shook her head. "I guess we're about to find out..." 

"You guys, especially you, Therese, you've been the best – but, sorry, this is not for you." Gen was really pulling herself together now. "This is for _you_." Smiling shyly, she pointed at Abby. Hearing the first bars of the song Gen was about to lip sync, a wide grin broke across Therese’s face.  _Good God, bring out the big guns – she's going to do her Charlene imitation..._

_Hey lady, you lady_

_Cursing at your life_

 

Gen's hands made subtle, inviting gestures towards Abby who was suddenly overtaken by her attention.

 

_You're a discontented mother_

_And a regimented wife_

Gen knew this one down to the last melodramatic bat of an eyelash.  _Wait, what's going on in here?_  Therese glanced at Abby who was staring at Gen going through her diva moment on the stage.

_I've no doubt you dream about_

_The things you'll never do_

_But, I wish someone had talked to me_

_Like I wanna talk to you_

 

Therese had never thought of Gen as a girlie girl – well, she just wasn't – but somehow she only just now understood all the Breakfast at Tiffany's dresses and other stuff Gen had hidden in her wardrobe. If need be, she had it in her.

_Whoooa, I've been to Georgia_

_And California and anywhere I could run_

_Took the hand of a preacher man_

_And we made love in the sun_

 

The need seemed to be in. Gen swayed her body to the rhythm of the music lifting her arms, wrists and fingers over her shoulders and head in soft, circular motions. 

_But I ran out of places_

_And friendly faces_

_Because I had to be free_

_I've been to paradise_

_But I've never been to me..._

 

She moved her hips seductively.  _Oh my God..._  Gen was  _smoking_ , and Abby was  _really_ paying attention _._

_Please lady, please, lady_

_Don't just walk away_

_'Cause I have this need to tell you_

_Why I'm all alone today_

_...._

_...._

_Whoooa, I've been to Nice_

_And the Isle of Greece_

_While I've sipped champagne on a yacht_

_I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo_

_And showed 'em what I've got_

Could it be that Gen actually moved like Jean Harlow? She certainly showed what she got…

_I've been undressed by kings_

_And I've seen some things_

_That a woman ain't supposed to see_

_I've been to paradise_

_But I've never been to me..._

_..._

_..._

_Sometimes I've been to crying_

_For unborn children_

_That might have made me complete_

 

 _This is just too funny_ , Therese chuckled. Resting her chin on her knuckles, Abby had an ecstatic smile on her face, which made Therese somewhat uneasy. Rest of the crowd applauded wildly.

_But I, I took the sweet life_

_I never knew_

_I'd be bitter from the sweet_

 

The sensual, perfectly timed quirk of her eyebrows was the coup de grace.  _Who knew?_ Therese was completely bowled over by her performance. 

_I've spent my life exploring_

_The subtle whoring_

_That costs too much to be free_

 

By now, she was flirting openly with Abby. NO… NO… THIS WAS NO FLIRT, THIS WAS FRIGGIN' FOREPLAY, Therese realized. 

 

_Hey lady, I've been to paradise_

_But I've never been to meeeeeee..._

 

She might not get out of there in one piece but she really killed it, Therese grinned. Indeed Gen needed help to get down from the stage but other than that she seemed okay. "Amazing as always", Therese said squeezing her arm gently but Gen didn't seem to notice it at all for she saw only Abby who had helped her on her chair. Somehow Abby’s hand had remained on Gen's shoulder...  _no, wait – why is it on her thigh now?_

"Is there anything I can do for you, Miss Genevieve..?" Abby asked Gen in a tone that left very little wiggle room for interpretation. "I'm sure there is," Gen replied her cheeks flushed quite child-like.  Therese averted her eyes from the scene right next to her. 

At the same time she was also worried, though, Gen being quite drunk and maybe a bit over her head. Not that she didn't think of Abby as the catch of the year –  _why the fuck am I talking about her as if she were a fish or something?_  – but Gen was still on the rebound, after all.

When they were leaving, Gen being all lovey-dovey with Abby, Therese was suddenly  _very_ worried. As always, Abby was way ahead of her. "Come on..." she smiled at Therese while Gen was fetching their overcoats, "what kind of a person do you take me for?" Abby patted her hand.

"She's drunk and I'm not gonna sleep with her tonight, don't worry." She was very reassuring. "I'll let her sleep it off at my place and we'll see what happens in the morning." Relieved, Therese nodded in agreement. "I wouldn’t mind sleeping with her, though, so I hope it's okay with you  _if_  it happens?" Abby's expression told Therese her approval wasn’t entirely necessary. "Oh Abby... of course!" She really meant it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strongly recommend you give the Charlene song a listen, it's such a crazy over-the-top bitch aria I can't help but laugh at it every single time I hear it! :)


	4. Moments of Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one song and only for its absolute friggin' beauty:
> 
> Kate Bush: Moments of Pleasure  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/28KI5JJFYz2m9ZTk2zJg2s
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

Therese got up late the next morning. Too tired to make it back to Carol's place, she had decided to spend the night in her old apartment which was only a couple of blocks away from Dannie's. Gen wasn't there after all and she had changed the sheets before meeting Therese. Well, what'll you know, she hadn't jinxed her chances this time, Therese smiled.

The phone battery was charged over night. When she switched it on, it started beeping with messages. Eight missed calls and three text messages from Carol. Seeing them, Therese beamed.

YOU OKAY? PLEASE CALL ME. I MISS YOU

SLEEP IT OFF, DARLING. TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. CHARGE YOUR DAMN PHONE :)

FLYING TO FRISCO. CALL YOU WHEN LANDED. LOVE YOU XXX

Therese felt ridiculously happy. She thought for a while what to write in return.

I MISS YOU  
I MISS YOU

Seriously hung over, she knew she wouldn't be able to practice today. _Hardly the behavior of a professional musician_ , Therese admonished herself. Last night had turned out okay after all, even though she did feel guilty for doubting Carol's devotion to her.

"Sleep it off" Carol had texted her late last night. Abby must have called her and put her mind at ease. She's such a good friend, Therese realized. For me as well as for her. Smiling, she got her things together and left for home.

What waited for her there took her breath away. The whole apartment was filled with stunning white flowers - gardenias. She remembered telling Carol they were her absolute favorites in the whole world. Now she was being greeted with the abundance of them, with the intoxicating fragrance they spread around the entire place. The door man must have brought them in, she guessed.

There was a letter with her name on it on the coffee table.

> "Darling, why didn't you tell me about the competition? Such wonderful news! I'm so excited and proud of you. I love you. Carol"

The overwhelming loveliness of it all sent Therese swooning with happiness.

Fixing herself a late breakfast, she heard her phone ringing. She made a dash for it only to find it was Gen. "Good morning!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Therese squinted at the shrieking sound. "It won't be if you keep shouting at me..." Gen was in a terrific mood, she could tell. "Can I come over? Pleasepleaseplease..." Therese couldn't help but smile guessing why her friend was so eager to see her. "Sure."

"Why didn't you tell me about it?!?" The change in Gen's appearance was mindboggling. "Tell you about what?" Therese asked. "About sex with older women, for crying out loud!!!" Gen was elated. "No, let me rephrase - with mature women... because there's nothing old about a romp in the hay with one of them!" Therese cringed at her choice of words.

"So you've been having a good time, then..." she concluded not meaning it as a question at all. "Have I ever? How should I put it..?" _Please, don't._ "I've seen the light, I've been launched into space, I'm the king of the woooorld!" Gen was quickly turning her experience into a James Cameron movie. Therese chuckled. "I think it may have something to do with experience..." Gen looked at Therese her eyes all lit up. "I have experience as well so it can't be as simple as that. I read from somewhere that women in their forties are at their sexual peak..." _I can vouch for it_ , Therese thought not thinking for a second she would say it out loud. She was happy to smile, to see Gen so excited for a change. Her mood was contagious and Therese was already in high spirits.

"You opening a florist shop or what's the deal in here?" Gen asked looking at the overflowing vases of gardenias everywhere. "If so, you might like to add some variety to your stock." Blushing out of sheer happiness, Therese poked her friend on the shoulder. "They're from Carol... they were waiting for me when I got home." Gen squeezed her hand gently. "She's such a classy lady, isn't she?" _She is, indeed,_ Therese thought longingly.

Gen left after an hour being far too frantic to stay in any one place for a long time. She was going to have a late lunch with Abby. "An office lunch, whatever that means," she mentioned glowing in anticipation. "Well, she does have a very nice looking sofa there," Therese retorted wanting to have some fun at her expense. The expression on Gen's face was priceless. _I bet she looked like that as child at Christmas_ , she mused.

There was also another reason Gen was eager to leave - she wanted to tell her mother. "I can't wait to see her face!" she gloated buttoning her coat. Her constant need to shock her mother amazed Therese and she asked if it was really necessary to rub it in just yet. "Why wait?" Gen quipped already half way out of the door, "it's nothing another ten years of therapy can't fix!"

* * *

Having eaten, Therese felt sleepy. She couldn't focus on the book she was reading so she decided to take a nap instead. Leaving her cell phone on the night stand, Therese crawled between the sheets of the huge bed she shared with Carol. Their "den of iniquity" as she liked to call it. Hugging Carol's pillow tightly she drifted to light sleep.

When the phone rang she was suddenly wide awake. It was as if she had only waited for this call with her eyes shut.

"Darling..." Her heart leapt at hearing Carol on the phone. "I'm so glad to hear your..." she started her whole being fluttering with happiness. "Dearest, I'd like you to listen to me, just listen until I ask you something, okay?" Her voice was warm and tender. "Everything's alright, don't be startled..." Intrigued, Therese waited Carol to tell her what was on her mind.

 _"Therese, have you been a bad girl?"_ Carol's voice was husky and low all of a sudden. _"Been reading nonsense, drinking way too much..?_ Therese gulped. _"Have you been a bad, bad girl, Therese?"_ The question made her shiver as if she were a mere feather and Carol a strong gust of wind whirling her around in the air. "Yes..." she said swallowing hard.

 _"Where are you, Therese?"_ Carol pried mieschievously knowing fully well that the repetition of her name was starting to drive her mad. "At home... in bed." She could almost hear Carol smiling. _"Good... because I want my bad girl to know what I want to do to her."_ A racy shudder ran through Therese. The words penetrated her body making her aware of the immediate arousal flushing her neck, throbbing in her groin.

 _"Can you feel me, Therese?"_ Carol purred rendering her utterly defenseless. _"Can you feel my hand sliding over your panties... you do have your panties on, don't you, darling?"_ Therese drew a few quick breaths before answering. "Yes..." She bit her lip hurriedly. _"I want you to touch how wet they are for me, do you hear me, Therese?"_ Carol murmured softly. Panting, Therese barely managed to form her reply. "Yes..." She was ready, so worked up in no time.

 _"You like it, don't you, baby? You like it when I twirl your thick moist hair in my fingers before slipping my hand further?"_ Therese let out a whimper. _"You want me to open your legs and bite your inner thighs while making you wait, don't you? Answer me, Therese."_ A moan escaped her lips. "Yes..." Everything in her was pulsating, beating feverishly now, beckoning her to give in to the reckless abandon.

 _"What do you want me to do, Therese? Tell me..."_ She couldn't, she possibly couldn't yet she had to. "I want you to... I want you to... I want you," she exhaled faintly. _"Oh you can do better than that, tell me..."_ Therese closed her eyes and saw the distant grey gaze flicker with curious, wanton desire. _"I want you to touch yourself and tell me what you want..."_

Her eyes growing hazy, she held her breath. "I want you to... fuck me." Her voice was no louder than a whisper. _"Yes... I'm going to fuck my bad girl with her own fingers..."_ Her mind ablaze with heat, she surrendered to the meaning of her words. _"Can you feel me fucking you, Therese, because I can. I can feel how swollen and wet you are for me..."_ Carol could hear Therese inhale sharply, her muscles tightening. _"I'm thrusting your fingers inside you because I want you so much, baby, and I can hear you're so close already..."_ Therese opened her mouth to a silent cry. " _Come for me, come for me, baby..."_ She imagined Carol taking hold of her as she allowed herself to be tipped over the final threshold. Bucking her hips, Therese welcomed the heightening of pleasure, the ecstatic tremors which flung her body into the overwhelming abyss of her sudden release.

\---

"Darling, are you still there? You okay?" Carol's voice was the same as ever. "Yeah... I'm here," Therese said, all flushed and smiling. "Abby texted me last night, told me what had happened." She sounded worried. "Are you really okay?" Therese wished she could kiss her. "I am. I just went crazy for a second. Not being able to be with you and all..." She wanted to convince her so badly. "You do know I love you?" Carol asked anxiously. "I do," Therese smiled, "I was just being silly. I love you..."

"I figured you'd be all hung over and in need of a cheering up. Or just in plain need..." Carol laughed. "I am and I was..." Therese chuckled, "That was... oh sweet Jesus... just incredible. And fast." She was grinning madly. "It certainly was, got me all worked up as well. I miss your amazing hands, your eager mouth..." Carol sounded lonesome but happy. _Carol..._ Therese mused ecstatically, _how can anyone's voice make me so euphoric?_

"I'll get you for this, you know?" Therese said invigorated by love and sex. Carol's easy laugh warmed her heart. "I'm counting on it, darling... I'd say my life depends on it."


	5. You're the One That I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 and its music:
> 
> Jean Sibelius: The Spruce  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5jvsNHnMQGTbhlIaHKO9QH  
> Maurice Ravel: Pavane pour une infante défunte  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/7MjEk3ha3TdVVfeYryOIAq  
> Lo-Fang: You're the One That I Want  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1dEHQktvcM8vCCyI1x7yVB
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

It was the night of The Carnegie Hall concert, and Therese was starting to feel really nervous about it. It was her first solo performance - the first big time performance - and she was sorry to have Carol miss it altogether. She was giving a concert in Miami the very same night.

Abby and Gen were present, and seeing them together made Therese happy. There was something unusually shy about the two of them as if their respective raucous natures had somehow given in to a gentler, much happier mode of conduct they were now eager to share.

She had no doubt that Gen and Abby were a force to reckon with even between themselves. Even if Gen tried to describe their relationship as a sort of a "bed and breakfast" type of thing, Therese knew better. She knew her friend well enough to see how taken by Abby she really was. Gen was terribly, formidably smitten, this she knew for a fact. As for Abby, she couldn't quite tell. She could only hope for the best. Carol would know about Abby, she contemplated. She would see it from her like Therese saw it from Gen.

To see Gen like this was like seeing herself two years earlier. Gen was going through a magnificent transformation as falling for someone always by default was. Yet Therese could see there was nothing default-like in it, nothing she'd have seen over and over again, nothing used or clichee-like.

Therese wondered if Gen herself had awaken to it, had seen herself as the amazing someone who finally now pushes her head through the suffocating surface of merely existing, towards the most absolute sunlight, to the abundant horizon of expectations never yet met. Through the numbing pain, the nagging disappointment, the redundancy of days gone unnoticed. To love and to be alive, to make the leap of faith with your eyes wide open - even to the fact that you may get hurt in the process.

She hated people who were slack with their emotions. Slack and undefined, sluggish and careless. How could anyone be so jovial about love in the first place? Love was not a current of needy whims waiting to be satisfied nor a frivolous pastime for the eternally bored. A marvelous wind of god it was, the one that swept the ill-advised bystanders of everyday routines off their feet and made them the charismatic protagonists of their own lives.

The diamond life, shiny and uncompromising, lovely and absolute. She knew she had it with Carol, she knew it with a staggering certainty and every time she acknowledged it, it made her happy, ecstatic. She had it and she wanted it.

If she had but one wish in her life it was always the same. She wished for Carol. Was it normal to be so excited, so elated, so ecstatic about just one person in particular? At the same time nothing of their connection fit the spectrum of mere normalcy since it couldn't contain even an ounce of the happiness they'd found together. _If normalcy is what I've seen around me before Carol, I want no part of it_ , Therese realized.

Seeing her friends in the audience, she braced herself for the performance. She would do Sibelius and Ravel tonight. The first one she had chosen because of the upcoming competition. A Finnish composer to set her mood for a Finnish competition.

Playing the Op. 7 of his The Trees series called _The Spruce_ , Therese remembered the Christmas they had decorated the tree together with Rindy. It had been their first as a couple and it had left an indelible mark on her mind. Carol had held them both in her arms and planted first a kiss on Rindy's cheek, then another one on Therese's lips. She had felt Rindy's gaze on them both when they had kissed. The little girl had climbed on both of their laps and cupped their cheeks to bring them close together again. "I love it when you two kiss." And Therese had thought this was the first time she had witnessed it. How simple, natural and pure love is when perceived by an innocent, straight-forward mind. How it should always be perceived.

 _Pavane pour une infante défunte_ had been one of the first pieces she had played to Rindy - and made her cry while doing so. Pavane for a dead princess, as the title translates, was too much for this little princess, Therese had mused cradling the sobbing girl in her arms. Now she was playing the same Ravel piece at the Carnegie wishing both Carol and Rindy were there to listen to her.

* * *

Dannie brought her flowers after the concert. "I suppose this means you're not coming back to work at the bar?" He and Alice were beaming. "Suppose not," Therese replied smiling, still quite overtaken by the effort she'd put into her interpretations. "I've got a big check waiting for you at the office," Abby quipped entering the dressing room. "I like the sound of that," she smiled, "and I'd like to put some of it to good use right now. How about I treat you guys to a late snack and a few drinks?" Therese wasn't ready to go back home just yet.

"We'll take a rain check... it was good seeing you, Terry." Dannie and Alice backed out of the room. "Maybe some other night?" Abby and Gen exchanged hurried glances. "Don't really feel like going out tonight", said Gen avoiding Therese's eyes. _Since when?_ "I actually feel like calling it a night as well", Abby concluded, "come on, we'll give you a ride home." _What the hell? Everyone's ditching me?_ Therese frowned putting on her overcoat. _Fine_.

* * *

Depressed, she opened the door to Carol's apartment. She shouldn't feel sad, not really. It had been a spectacular evening for her after all. _Did I leave the light on at the bedroom?_ Therese stepped further in.

"Hello darling..." If there was such a thing as instant happiness, this was it. "I hear your concert went really well." Carol smiled. "I should know since I was there... well, not the entire time, I couldn't make it to the beginning, but I did pick up the enthusiasm you created." The gray eyes were full of tenderness.

"Carol..." she could only say her eyes welling up with tears. "Dearest..." Carol cupped her chin and kissed her lips, her tears gently, not losing eye contact for one second. "My love..." Pulling Therese even closer she led her to the bedroom.

There was no rush this time. No need for words. Melting under her lover's touch, Therese let Carol undress her achingly slowly. Lips on her collarbone, neck, fingertips brushing her sides as if by accident... the utter sweetness of two bodies coming together, making the soft, muffled sounds of desire until the ultimate quivering, fluttering, undulating - becoming almost too much and everything at the same time.

"Darling, I love you", Carol whispered overcome by her release and emotion. "I'm so tired. Let me sleep in your arms tonight." Therese wrapped her arms, her everything, around Carol. "Only now I can rest. Right here so close to your dreams."


	6. Love and Marriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's the song list for chapter 6:
> 
> Peggy Lee: Black Coffee  
> Frank Sinatra: Love and Marriage  
> k.d. lang: A Kiss to Build a Dream On
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

The early morning light woke them up or maybe it was love, for it took a considerable amount of time for them to finally get up and start with the breakfast. “Dearest, you can’t believe how happy I am to be back at home.” Carol put her arms around Therese who was busy making coffee. She snuggled her head on Therese’s shoulder inhaling her fragrance and tightening her grip around her narrow waist.  
  
“Babe… if you keep that up, we won’t be having coffee or anything else for that matter any time soon,” she whispered closing her eyes in sudden rapture. “Would it be so bad after all..?” Carol murmured her breath so warm against Therese’s ear. “You know I’d like nothing better but Rindy’ll be here in an hour or so, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want her to catch us in the throes of passion…” Carol sighed loosening her hold which made Therese turn around and kiss her feverishly on the lips. “Oh hell, I want you so much, I can’t help it...” She opened her robe and lifted herself on the kitchen counter. Spreading her thighs she beckoned Carol to come and claim what was hers to take.

* * *

“Hello, sweet pea!” Seeing her little girl come in, Carol scooped Rindy up and drowned her in noisy kisses. “I’ve missed you so much!” Beaming, Rindy clung to her mother. “I’ve missed you too, Mommy. You’ve been away too long!” Smiling, Carol cupped her little face. “I know, it’s been far too long.” There was a distinct trace of sadness in her voice. “Now that I have a couple of days off, I want to spend it all with you and Therese.” _A couple of days?_ Therese didn’t like what she was hearing but now was not the time to think about it.  
  
Rindy wanted to go shopping which didn’t quite appeal to Therese. Department stores made her nervous. She suggested they visit some art galleries along the way which  suited Rindy and Carol just fine. They could have a nice lunch in some cozy little place in Chelsea afterwards.  
  
“So what’s up, Rindy?” Therese asked once they’d been seated at a table in a relatively new seafood restaurant next to the Chelsea Market. “Not much”, little girl answered, “unless you think Dad’s new girlfriend is news…” Surprised, both women glanced at Rindy who had a smug look on her face. “Well, that’s wonderful news… isn’t it, Therese? Carol blurted out exchanging looks with her. “Definitely,” Therese acknowledged, “do you like her?” Rindy took a moment before answering. “Yeah, I guess I do although she fusses over me endlessly, and it’s kinda irritating at times,” she mused. “But Dad seems to be quite smitten, I must say.”

Therese had a hard time imagining lovesick Harge, it was such a stretch from the man fuming passive aggression towards her and Carol. “Dad bought something for her from Tiffany’s,” Rindy continued, "he thought I hadn't noticed but I found it hidden in his drawer." She seemed mighty pleased with herself. "Rindy, it's not your business to poke your nose into your Dad's private business," Carol admonished. "I know but I was just curious to see what was in the gift bag - nothing much really, just a tiny velvet box..." _A ring?_ thought Therese instantly. _An engagement ring?_ She didn't say anything. "Whatever it is, I'm sure your Dad's ladyfriend will be very happy to receive it." Carol saw no point in dwelling on it any further.

* * *

Rindy had promised to go to the movies with a friend of hers, but she would be back at Carol's no later than 9. Carol had called Harge to see if it was okay for Rindy to stay overnight even if they hadn't made any previous arrangements about it. Harge had been more than happy to oblige sounding positively perky which Carol found quite out of character.

"Harge must be getting some," she quipped to Therese who was pouring Merlot into their glasses. "Looks like it. And judging from what Rindy told us, it sounds serious. A ring, perhaps..?" she wondered out loud. "Yeah, the girl won't know what hit her when he pops the question," Carol retorted rather cruelly. "Marriage... there's an entrapment if I ever saw one!" Carol's iciness made Therese uneasy. "Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" she asked hiding her mixed feelings. "Depends on the woman, of course. Maybe this one is truly the marrying kind", she concluded shrugging her shoulders.

"Can we go over our calendars for the coming months?" Therese asked wanting to change the subject. "I want us to have as much time together as possible." Carol picked up her smart phone. "I have concerts in LA, Seattle and Vancouver coming up... Those'll take the next two weeks, then there's the benefit gala in Houston on the 22nd and another one in St. Louis the following week..." Therese tried to keep up. "So when are you back in NYC?" She was browsing through her own timetable. "Not until the end of month, I'm afraid." Carol was absorbed in her busy agenda. "And I have the young talents' night in Boston on the 31st and after that a quick tour of the neighbouring cities..." Therese said suddenly realizing they would most likely be apart another month and a half.

"When do you have to leave? Do we have time for a little getaway?" she pleaded. Carol knotted her brow. "I need to fly to LAX late tomorrow night. I'll catch a red-eye." Therese pouted her lips but Carol didn't notice it. "I'm recording a love song with k.d. lang for Columbia. She's been harassing Abby for ages, she really wants us to get together..." Therese looked as if someone had punched her in the stomach. "Jesus Christ, Therese, you should see the expression on your face! I'm only teasing you... First TMZ and now this, get a grip, darling!" Carol laughed wholeheartedly. "The duet is with Tony Bennett."

But Therese saw nothing funny in the situation. The disappointment and anger she had felt after having realized the imminent and all too familiar separation reached a boiling point in her head. "So what is it that we're having here then?" Her voice was gathering storm. "A hot tryst every six weeks or what? Is this what our life together is all about?" Now she sounded livid.

Carol put her phone away and turned around very slowly. " _A tryst?_ Really, Therese?!" The gray eyes had a different, cooler shade altogether, and their owner was visibly shaken. "Funny you should mention it since I'm not the one still keeping her own fucking apartment on the side!" Her eyes burning, Therese stared at Carol for an infinite amount of time. At a loss for words and all too upset, she picked up her coat and left slamming the door behind her.

* * *

"Gen, where are you? Can I come by?" Therese was choking back her tears. "I'm at Abby's. Of course you can come by." 

Gen came down to meet her. "What's wrong, honey?" Therese burst out crying. "Oh Gen, I can't take this anymore... we had a fight..." Gen put her arm around her. "Come on up, let's talk this through." Entering the apartment, Therese looked for Abby. "She's on the phone. I bet you can guess who with," Gen said smiling sheepishly. "Now tell me all about it."

When Therese had finally told everything, Gen had a wistful look on her face. "Carol does have a point, you know..." she started cautiously. "You never really moved in, you just sort of stayed there as if it were all somehow temporary." Therese couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What are you saying? I did move in and you moved into my old apartment." Gen shook her head adamantly. "It may look like it but it's not true." She sighed. "What have you contributed to your home? What have you added to it that distinctly says you live there?" Gen looked at Therese inquisitively.

And then it dawned on her. Quite simply and overwhelmingly she realized what Gen was saying was actually the truth. The apartment was all Carol and if she were to be removed from it tomorrow, nothing would reveal that she had lived there for nearly two years already. "Oh my God... you're right," she managed to say terrified by the abrupt recognition. "I've been practically living out of suitcase all this time." Gen squeezed her hand gently when Abby finally stepped into the room.

"Hey girl... I hear there's trouble in paradise?" Abby said compassionately. The look on her face was calm and affectionate. "You should really go back now. She's miserable, that much I can tell. No point wasting time." Therese nodded in agreement. "You're right, but the time is the problem here. We never seem to have enough of it."

Abby folded her arms. "Listen, I know this is just temporary, it won't last forever." Therese loved hearing Abby being so confident. "But you, my dear, need to set your priorities right and show your woman what she really means to you, you hear?" Gen couldn't agree more. "Get rid of your old place, do it now." Surprised, Therese looked at her. "But what about you? Where are you going to live?" Abby wrapped her arms around Gen's shoulders. "Believe it or not, but this little nitwit is going to move in with me."

* * *

Half an hour later she was back at Carol's. Therese opened the door not knowing what to expect. Carol sat on the sofa her feet curled up. Rindy had gone to bed already. "Babe..." Therese started going to her. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, will you?" She could see Carol had done some crying on her own as well. "I don't want to keep my old apartment anymore, I'll put in on the market first thing on Monday morning..." she said sitting next to her. "And I want to make this as much my home as it is yours. Will you let me..?" She took Carol's hand and pressed a soft kiss on its back. "We can even look for another place if you don't like it here," Carol murmured so quietly she could hardly hear it at first. "I love it here. We both loved this place the minute we saw it. This is my home." She caressed Carol's cheek tenderly. _"You are my home."_ Their lips met not parting till the early hours of the new morning.


	7. You Sexy Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for chapter 7:
> 
> Cyndi Lauper: I Drove All Night  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/3J0AoQhAufniMrznCRJASD  
> Hot Chocolate: You Sexy Thing  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/714hERk9U1W8FMYkoC83CO  
> Celine Dion: Falling Into You  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/7idxn0jKMB1WHw8d4b9Rex
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

Carol left the following evening. Therese was miserable to see her go but she did her best not to let it show too much. She spent a restless night tossing and turning in bed, trying to make sense out of the predicament they were in. At 4 AM it hit her and she couldn't believe why she hadn't thought about it earlier. _I need to call Abby first thing tomorrow morning_ , she thought drifting to sleep. 

* * *

"Hi, Therese! What's up? You're early." Abby was yawning. "Did I wake you guys up?" she asked not really caring if she had. She was far too psyched about her idea. "I need you to provide me with Carol's itinerary for the next month and there's some other stuff I need too... Can I come by around noon?" Therese couldn't wait. "Sure, you can come right now if you like. Sounds like your business can't wait..." Therese was already out of the door and on her way to Abby's.

Once she got there, Gen was busy unpacking her things. "Where can I put these?" she asked Abby who was trying to speak on the phone. "Wherever... Can't you see I'm busy right now?" Gen threw her combat boots on the middle of the living room floor. "Good grief..." Abby grimaced watching her. "Hi guys," Therese quipped, "Am I interrupting something?" Gen shrugged. "Nah, I'm just trying to figure out where to hide my stuff so IT WON'T BOTHER MISS GERHARD..." _Oh oh_ , Therese thought and sat at the kitchen table. "You care for a cup of coffee?" Gen dragged her feet towards the coffee maker. "Sure, thanks..." 

Abby was done with her call and she joined Therese at the table. "So what's this all about?" she inquired. "Well, I was thinking last night that this thing with Carol is not working, this being apart all the time, I mean" she started. "So I thought it's high time I do something about it instead of just wait for her at home." Abby and Gen were both paying attention. "I thought I'd surprise her", Therese explained, "joined her in her tour, at least in some cities." Abby scratched her head. "You do know she has a full schedule while she's on the road? It's not like you can spend every waking hour together..." Her voice was apprehensive. 

"Yeah, I know, but I could, well, I could at least..." Gen was eager to complete her sentence. "You could be her hotel bitch, right?" Therese cringed while Abby shook her head. "I love you, baby, but that mind of yours... You're sure Katherine Cantrell's your mother? The same one I had the unbridled pleasure to meet _again_ last Sunday?" By the looks on their faces, Therese could just imagine how the meeting with the in-laws had turned out.

"Abby knew my mother when they were at college", Gen grinned gleefully. "Not that they were friends or anything but she knows some juicy tidbits about good ole Mom... seems like the proverbial bad apple hasn't exactly fallen that far away from the tree after all!" Abby sighed. "I made the mistake of telling her of Katherine's unfortunate crush on one of her field hockey team mates..." 

Now they were drifting off the subject Therese wanted desperately to return to. "Actually, Gen's not that far off... with the hotel thing, I mean," she interrupted quietly, "We could be together whenever it would be convenient for her and at other times I could practice my repertoire and competition pieces." She looked at Abby inquisitively. "Those big hotels must have grand pianos in their ballrooms, right? Maybe I could practice on them? It's not like I have to stay at home and just slave away at Carol's Fazioli..." 

Abby was pensive but after a while she seemed to warm up to the idea. "Okay, I think we can make this work... I'll see to the arrangements, talk with the management." She was already planning it inside her head. "When do you want to leave?" she asked. Relieved, Therese smiled. "The day after tomorrow." There were certain things she needed to do before her departure.

* * *

On her way to meet Mrs French Therese decided to call Alice, Dannie's fiancée. She hesitated to make the call at first her business being somewhat delicate. She did it anyway. "Hey, Therese, lovely to hear from!" Alice greeted her. "Hey, would it be possible to have a lunch today or tomorrow? I'd like to ask you about something..." Therese wasn't definitely going to talk it over on the phone. "As a matter of fact I'm free today around 2 PM," Alice realized, "Would it be okay with you?" Therese agreed to meet her right after her piano lesson.

"What's on your mind, Terry?" Alice asked when they'd gotten through the usual chit chat. "Umm, I kinda need help... your expertise – you being a professional in women's fashion and all", Therese explained. Alice worked as a buyer at Bergdorf Goodman. "Yeah? How can I help you then? You have something special in your mind?" Therese was squirming on her chair. "Well, yes..." _Why did she decide to do this?_ "I'm going to need a little bit more than that, I'm no psychic," Alice laughed. _She's such a nice and warm person, I can ask her_. "I'm a bit embarrassed just to ask you about this but I really don't know anything about it myself..." Therese was blushing. 

"You're embarrassed to ask me something about women's wear..?" It took a moment before Alice caught on. "Oh, you mean _underwear_ , right?" Therese nodded hastily. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, my dear. Lingerie is a beautiful thing if you go for the real quality stuff." Alice was in her element. "It feels good, makes you feel sexy and pleasures the other party as well... Carol's one lucky gal, I must say." Therese was still quite uncomfortable talking about it but if she had to, she was glad it was Alice.

Alice knew just the place they should visit. Before Therese knew it, she was standing in the fitting room putting on garments she never knew even existed. Well, she did know they existed but hadn't really given any thought to them before. Therese was also pleasantly surprised to see how very beautiful the high end lingerie could be. She wasn't even taken aback by the hefty price tags the generous salary Abby had promised after Carnegie burning a hole in her pocket.

"You have such a beautiful figure, Therese," Alice complimented sizing up the different sets she tried on. "I think black is definitely your color and it looks really hot on you," she continued. By now Therese was slightly more comfortable with the situation. _Slightly_. "I love this, this is so you," Alice said settling on an exquisite garter belt with straps. The tulle was embroidered with motifs reminiscent of the design of the early 1900s. "Simply wonderful," she sighed admiring its elegant details, hooks and loops.

Therese had to agree. It did look good with the matching bra and thigh highs. "Carol's going to love it, you know..." Alice was all smiles. "You have something special planned?" Therese was grinning. "Well, kind of, I guess... I'm just going to make a surprise visit while she's on her tour." Alice looked delighted. "She's going to be one surprised lady, I can assure you that!" Giggling, Therese handed her credit card to the salesclerk.

* * *

Thirty-six hours later Therese was at JFK waiting for her plane to take off. She had packed everything she thought she needed for a couple of weeks – clothes, necessities, books, sheet music. Therese couldn't wait to see Carol so soon again. Abby had taken care of everything. She was to check in the at the Four Seasons hotel in LA, go up to Carol's suite and wait for her to finish her daily program. When she would return to the hotel, she'd be up to a real surprise. 

About five hours later she was in Los Angeles. Abby had sent a chauffeur to pick her up from the airport and she was very pleased to have someone take her straight to the hotel. While sitting on the backseat, her cell phone beeped. 

 

DARLING I MISS YOU

FRUSTRATED @STUDIO 

CALL ME AT 9 

BACK @ HOTEL BY THEN

MISS YOU BABY <3

 

A wide smile spread on her face. Everything was going as planned and she'd have almost four hours to get everything ready before Carol returned. According to Abby's timetable Carol couldn't possibly be back before 7.30 PM but even if she were, Therese would still have plenty of time to do all she needed to.

The suite was lovely. At the same time Therese knew how very little such loveliness probably meant for Carol at this point. After certain amount of time all the hotel rooms looked the same, impersonal and lifeless. Tonight would be different, though, she decided. _Oh yes_.

Having given all necessary instructions to the room service, Therese took a long shower. The flight had worn her out but now she felt refreshed again. Putting on her brand new temptress gear, she looked herself on the bedroom mirror. The black lingerie, dark make-up to match, killer heels and some Chanel Coco Noir on pulse points and neck... _the bad girl was back and this time she would have her sweet revenge._

* * *

It was quarter past 8 when Therese heard someone trying to get her keycard to work. Carol was swearing like a sailor attempting to open the damn thing. Everything was set - the food, the champagne on ice, the candlelight. There was only one thing left she needed to put on display, and that was herself. She put a chair in the middle of the floor and sat on it _Cabaret_ style the back of the chair facing front and she herself leaning over it in provocative fashion. _If I had a bowler hat right now, I could channel Liza Minnelli,_ flashed through her brain quite unexpectedly. _Concentrate, goddammit!_

After several attempts the door gave in. She heard Carol put away her bag and then stop to listen to the quiet sultry music reaching her ears inexplicably. The shimmering light of the candles must have confused her too since it took a long while before she took another step to Therese's direction.

When Carol finally made it to the doorway, her gaze was met by Therese's devious, challenging stare. "Darling..." she gasped unable to say another word. Her young lover stood up flaunting the seductively skimpy evening wear in its full glory. It was Carol's turn to swallow - hard. _"You wanted a bad girl, babe?"_ Therese whispered into her ear circling her like a cat in heat. _"She's here."_

Tearing off Carol's clothes they backed all the way to the bedroom. Falling on the bed, Therese shifted her weight on top of her. She pushed her knee between Carol's legs to separate them from one another. Not letting her fingers touch her crotch yet, she saw how very wet she was already. The sight made her shudder of excitement.

 _"This time we'll do what I say, you understand?"_ she murmured hotly into Carol's ear. _"You're an eager blonde, aren't you?"_ she smiled wickedly while teasing her nipples with her mouth and teeth. She grabbed her buttocks and pressed her face against her lower abdomen. The smooth fabric of her tulle belt rubbed on Carol’s thighs. Therese could feel their mutual arousal intensifying, hear Carol panting and pleading her to take her right away. She moved upwards again shaking off Carol's desperate grip on the back of her head.  

When Carol's hand tried to find its way around her suspender, Therese stopped her right there and then. _"Uh-uh.."_ she warned her in no uncertain tone, _"you're not allowed to use your hands."_ She pinned them over her head. _"Keep 'em there."_ Carol's gray eyes had darkened out of the tremendous want she now felt and her body was arching to align itself with Therese's titillating moves. 

 _"What was it again the bad girls do?"_ she asked brushing her lips over her flushed chest, leaving faint tooth marks on the impeccable skin. Therese smiled at Carol who was fighting the urge to release her hands from their useless captivity. _"Tell me again, babe – I won't touch you if you don't..."_ Her face all flushed, Carol's eyes seemed unfocused for a fleeting moment. "They get..." she started breathlessly. _"Yes, babe?"_ Therese demanded breathlessly. Her right hand was drawing tiny circles on Carol's inner thigh. "Please, baby..." Carol whined almost losing it. _"Not until you tell me,"_ Therese decided even though she could feel her own body tingle of its intense need to be flung off pleasure's sharpest, adoringly painful cliff.

 _"Tell me,"_ she taunted her lover almost taking pity on her. _Almost_. "They get..." Carol groaned under her teasing weight, "...fucked." Pressure building within her, Therese flipped her over right after she'd said it. _"Won't be long now, babe..."_ she whispered in Carol's ear while taking her from behind, entering her roughly. Therese felt Carol tightening against her fingers in no time, her helpless moans reaching a record high, shrieking out of the agony that was pure distilled pleasure, something so spectacularly _angular_ it left her shaking in Therese's arms for a long time.

Therese kissed gently the moist corners of her eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked though she knew the answer perfectly well. "Oh darling, I'm more than that..." Carol murmured her eyes drowsy with satisfaction. "I'm positively _mind fucked._ " She kissed her lips languidly recalling her surprise welcome. "That _thing_ you're wearing... Jesus Christ, just thinking about you in it gives me another hard-on..." A broad smile spread on Therese's face. "I told you I'd get even with you." Carol laughed remembering the phone call. "You sure did." 

Carol wetted her lips as she turned to take a closer look at Therese. “My God, you’re gorgeous…” She traced the elaborate embroidery gently with her finger letting it travel around Therese’s waist. Therese shivered her own need returning so vividly, taking over her consciousness. “My, my, you’re so ready, aren’t you?” Carol teased stroking the front of her briefs lightly. “Let’s see what we have here…” Slowly, she pulled them off. “Oh baby, you’ve waxed for me… good girl…”  

* * *

“I’m famished,” Therese murmured to Carol afterwards. “I have some food waiting for us in the other room if you care to join me?” Carol stretched her arms sensuously. “On one condition,” she answered, “you won’t put on a robe or anything else.” She was grinning deliciously. “And you sit on my lap while we eat.” Pleased, Therese just nodded.

It was quite late already and the city lights were gleaming all around the palatial hotel. “This is such a boring place,” Carol commented as they were finishing their sumptuous meal. “I hate L.A. and I hate it even more now that it keeps me away from you.” She wrapped her arms tighter around Therese’s waist. “How long can you stay, darling?” Therese wiped away a loose strand of blonde hair from Carol’s forehead. “I thought I’d stay a while, if it’s okay with you? I can practice here when you’re at the studio, Abby’s seen to it.” Carol’s eyes lit up. “Is it okay? I’d love it. It makes me so happy to have something to look forward to at the end of the day…” She wiggled her eyebrows which made Therese all warm inside. “That’s that, then,” she continued pressing her head on her shoulder.       


	8. Finlandia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is one hell of a long chapter, so please bear with me. Consider this me redeeming myself from the smut of the last chapter... ;) And there's plenty of music as well:
> 
> Jean Sibelius: Finlandia, Op. 26  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5vWB9HbTnP0n6aXZpMqBiQ  
> Philip Glass: Etudes, Vol. 1: Etude No. 1 (Nicolas Horvath, piano)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/6PBARZhbGxLZf9WAtmwD3C  
> Dmitri Shostakovich: Piano Quintet in G Minor, Op. 57 (Bruno Canino, piano)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/05DYqFryQeLLjuVTMaMBkE  
> Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky: Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-Flat Minor, Op. 23: I: Allegro non troppo e molto maestoso - Allegro con spirito (Mélodie Chao, piano)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/6NVA2yc8lTBzblrr9rQ9OS  
> Sibelius: The Swan of Tuonela, Op. 22, No. 2  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/0DHBWprBIi97d7P4JK3jJQ  
> Anki: Ne kesäyöt / Summer Nights (Finnish cover, LOL)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1LEWEO7FGzzl1PKip1Ebzx
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

Therese stayed with Carol for three weeks. After so many separations even the suitcase life they shared on the road seemed more wholesome than the few stolen days they every once and a while got to spend at home. Anxious about yet another parting they had clung to one another more forcefully than ever before. Being apart and doing without felt like losing a limb, a vital part of one's body necessary to maintain life in the first place. Carol had seemed more pensive than usual during their last days on the road together. She had something on her mind.

On their second to last day together Carol got a letter from Rindy informing of his father's upcoming nuptials. Mr Hargess Foster Aird was to be married with Ms Evelyn Keith on June 21st. The formal invitations were to be sent soon, Rindy told, and both Carol and Therese were on the guest list. "Well, I'll be damned," Carol exclaimed, "if someone had said a year ago, we'd be getting an invitation to Harge's wedding I'd have laughed myself silly out of sheer disbelief." Therese chuckled. "It does sound unbelievable. Maybe this Evelyn is just the kind of woman he needs? At least Rindy seems pleased with her." 

Therese felt as if she were skating on thin ice every time Harge's fiancée became a topic of conversation since Carol rarely had anything nice to say about the matter. Not that she disliked Evelyn Keith or didn't wish her ex-husband happiness, something just seemed off every time she expressed her opinion on the matter. Yet it never truly seemed to focus on it exactly, it had always more to do with some issue surrounding it. Like marriage in general. Maybe it had something to do with Rindy, she contemplated. Was she perhaps jealous of another woman's potential influence on her daughter? It wouldn't be such a farfetched idea, Therese thought. 

"Do you want to go?" Carol asked. "A high society event at the Plaza, no doubt." Therese was kind of intrigued about it but her calendar wouldn't budge as far as June was concerned. She would be in Helsinki at the time taking part in the competition. When she mentioned it to Carol, she grew silent all of a sudden. "Oh yes, of course, I should've remembered... How long was it again?" Therese sighed. "About two weeks if I make it to the final round. Considerably less if I don't." She dreaded the idea of being cooped up alone and under tremendous pressure in a strange country. 

She wasn't particularly worried about her performance. She had had plenty of practice and she'd been quite consistent about it. It had been easy to spend several hours practicing each day since she had nothing better to do while Carol was at the studio or at the arena. "I have no intention of going without you so I will graciously decline," she decided a little too hastily. "Rindy'll be so disappointed," Therese objected. "She would want you to be there..." Carol was adamant. "Rindy is a big girl who knows her Mommy and Daddy can't be in the same room for any prolonged periods of time." There was nothing more Therese could say about it.

* * *

The first signs of summer were in the air when Therese returned to New York. Her heart was heavy and she knew she'd have to do something about it. She had a dream of what her life with Carol would be like - what it should be like - but she'd been far too afraid to express it to her in detail. _Why am I so frightened?_ she asked herself not knowing how to answer. She confided to Gen once they got together.

"Oh honey, it's a marvelous idea, I think," she told Therese. "You shouldn't torture yourself with possible negative outcome though I understand it can be intimidating," Gen mused. "Although I can't, for the life of me, understand why it would yield anything but a positive reaction." She squeezed her shoulder in encouragement. "Grab life by the ovaries, Therese, and show your commitment to her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Her own latest concerts had been quite successful and she was rapidly gaining name as a more than just a promising talent she'd been lauded as. The performance halls and auditoriums sold out fast, Abby had told her. All she had to do was show up and work her magic. 

"I've just transferred the fee from your last concert to your account. As you can see, it's quite a respectable amount of money. Do you know what to do about it, how to invest it?" Abby was quick to offer her expertise any way she could. "Not really but I can't be bothered about it just now, not before Helsinki anyway." Therese did have an idea of how to spend some of it but she wasn't going to tell Abby about it, not yet. 

* * *

"Hello darling!" The voice on the phone was light and happy. "Carol! Where are you calling from? Denver?" Therese wished she could see her face. "Actually no," Carol started, "I'm at LAX and on my way home..." Therese was blown over. "Has something happened? Are you alright?" she asked worried. "Oh no," Carol laughed, "Nothing's the matter. I just need to talk to you and tell you something that can't be told over the phone... I'll see you tonight, dearest!"

Therese felt uneasy. What could be so important it couldn't wait till the end of her tour? She would find out soon enough, she consoled herself. Still she was anxious about it.

"Therese, there's something I want to say to you," Carol started when they were sitting at the dinner table the same night. "What is it?" Therese inquired very nervous all of a sudden. "This thing we have going on... It's not working for me anymore, I'm sure you've noticed", Carol continued. _What the fuck?_ Therese couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not working anymore? Weren't they blissfully happy every single time they're paths crossed? _Was she breaking up with her?_ "I've already talked to Abby about this and she agreed with me."  _Abby agreed? What the hell?_ "I want you to know this is my decision and nothing you say can affect it. I've made up my mind." Carol looked very serious. Therese however was rattled beyond belief. I _have no say in this?_

"I've decided to quit touring altogether. I can't stand being apart from you, not sharing every day of my life with you. Abby's cancelled the rest of my tour." Carol smiled shyly. "I may do an occasional concert if I feel like it, make a record every once in a while but I want to do it here or wherever you are - if it's okay with you?" she continued. The news took a long time to sink in. Therese stared at her her pulse still uneven. "And I want to go to Helsinki with you - if you'll have me?" Carol looked at her a bit nervously. "You're not saying a word and, to tell you the truth, it's driving me rather crazy..." Therese woke up from her trance. "If I'll have you..? Is that what you're asking me?" she blurted out. "I want nothing more!" She was elated, simply euphoric hearing Carol's decision. She was home and she wanted to stay - stay with her! "But do you really want to give it all up - for me?" she asked cautiously. 

"I want this for us, darling. And I want it for Rindy as well. She shouldn't have to grow up without her mother. And it's not like I need the money or the accolades..." Carol came to her. "If I were to keep this up, I might end up losing you or at least we'd grow distant. I've seen it happen to so many couples I couldn't stand it happening to us." Therese cupped her chin and looked straight into her eyes. "You’re never going to lose me… and you can't possibly believe how happy you've just made me. But I don't want you to give up your career and regret it later..." Carol's smile warmed her heart. "Darling, don't you understand? I _want_ to give it up. I want to focus on us, on our life together. I won't take you for granted, not now, not ever." 

Therese remembered what Gen had said about keeping the relationship alive and she made a silent promise to herself to forever put her commitment to Carol before everything. In the big picture nothing else really mattered. She could be the world-renowned pianist but what use would it be to her if she didn't have Carol by her side? She embraced her, kissed her, overcome by the revelation of how things were to be from now on. "Me neither, babe. You took the words right out of my mouth." Beaming, she looked at Carol. "We're going to Helsinki, goddammit! We're going there together!"

* * *

The morning of their departure was a hectic one. Carol had the hardest time deciding what to pack for their trip since it was unclear how long they'd be there in the first place. Therese had a last minute errand to run, something she'd been fretting over for past couple of days and right now it seemed so much more important than anything to do with the competition.

"Do you think it's going to be cold over there?" Carol asked rummaging her drawers. "It's summer there as well so I guess it can't be bad," Therese answered. "But I did pack a few warm sweaters nevertheless." One could never be too sure about the weather in Finland.

Abby and Gen saw them to the airport. "If you'll make it to the finals, we'll join you for the last week of the competition," Abby said. "I think we could use a little getaway ourselves..." she quipped glancing at Gen who helped Therese to pick up the carry-on luggage. "Well, I better do good then," Therese grinned, "wouldn't want to spoil your holiday."

* * *

The flight from JFK to Helsinki took approximately eight hours but it was the time difference that screwed them over. Therese was glad Abby had thought about it and booked their trip accordingly. They would have several days to adjust to Helsinki being seven hours ahead of their normal daily rhythm. 

Approaching the foreign territory they could see a lot of uninhabited land covered with thick patches of forests and thousands of lakes here and there. Neither of them had ever been to Finland before and all of it seemed like an exciting adventure waiting to happen. It was quite late when the plane touched down but what they discovered left them positively flabbergasted. It was the middle of the night but the sun was shining nevertheless, greeting them from the clear blue sky.

"The land of the midnight sun," Therese said holding Carol's hand as they took their luggage out of the terminal. They weren't tired although they hoped they were. It would be a long night for them and an even longer day tomorrow if they couldn't sleep a wink when they were supposed to. "I'm sure I can think of something for us to do to help us catch some shut-eye..." Carol winked at her pressing her hand on Therese's thigh once they'd gotten inside a taxi. 

"Should we be doing this here... in public, I mean..?" Therese smiled pointing at Carol's hand moving on her thigh. "Oh, I hear Helsinki is quite enlightened, and they've had the gay marriage here before us... very queer friendly, according to Abby." Carol grinned. "But I guess it would be appropriate to wait till we get to our hotel." 

Hotel Kämp, the most luxurious one in Helsinki, was situated right at the center of downtown. It was a charming place with a certain continental appeal. It looked old and prestigious from the outside, elegant and comfy from the inside. "We really ought to sleep, you know..." Therese said pulling the curtains over the windows in their suite. The light was wreaking havoc on her perception of day and night. "How do people sleep here – with all this light..." she wondered. "With shades on, I suppose," Carol said patting the right side of the bed. "Come here, baby, stop fussing, will you." Therese undressed and slipped between the covers. "Don't mind if I do," she purred mischievously.

* * *

The next couple of days were simply wonderful. Helsinki, the Daughter of the Baltic, bathed in exuberant sunlight and brightened their spirits. After a long dark winter the city seemed eager to make up for lost time, to flaunt the magnificent omnipresent light. A love affair of summer’s full bloom and the maddening insistence of sun lent Helsinki a flirty charm. 

What a quaint, little town it was after all – so tiny and unassuming after the hustle and bustle of Manhattan. Though they enjoyed their bite of the Big Apple above all else, they found Helsinki appealing in its quiet languidness. Carol was eager to see the sights, to appreciate the many faces of the city – the Russian and Swedish influences mingling with the distinct Finnish ones – and to sample the tastes of the local restaurants. "Quite a few Michelin ones in here," she informed Therese, "but it's no wonder Nordic cuisine being one of the most exciting concepts at the moment."

The competition was to begin in three days. Therese was offered the opportunity to polish her repertoire in one of the study rooms of the Sibelius Academy, the best university level education for classical music in Finland. It was also the breeding ground of several world famous conductors the country had produced over the past few decades. She felt right at home there surrounded by friendly, helpful people as excited about the competition as she was.

* * *

The night before the preliminary round commenced they went for cocktails in a local speakeasy one of the arrangers had told Therese about. It lived up to its character for it was not an easy place to find. What was inside, however, took Therese's breath away – a relatively small, lantern lit place with bookcases lining the walls and plush armchairs everywhere. "This is just the kind of a place I always thought I would like to run if I were a bar owner," she realized. Carol agreed. "Lovely, indeed, but let's see if the drinks live up to the surroundings."

Therese went to the bar curious to see a local professional in action. "Hey, what can I get you?" said the woman behind the counter. She had a certain boyish look accentuated with round, somewhat brainy spectacles. Her smile was easy, accommodating. Therese wasn't one to have a particularly good gaydar but this time she didn't even need one. With some people it's just so obvious.

"Hello," she said smiling winningly, "at least a dry martini with an olive and... well, why don't you suggest something? I used to mix cocktails in New York and I'd like to see what you can come up with." It was a direct challenge. "Well, let me think", the woman said looking pensive, "you look like a sidecar kinda gal, am I right?" Therese nodded in approval. "I sure am! What made you think of it?" The shorthaired brunette with touches of grey on her temples grinned back. "It's just that my sidecars are quite famous over here. In fact they ought to be world famous." _Where have I heard that before?_ Therese was sold, a dry martini and a sidecar it was.

"So how are you liking your drinks, ladies?" the bartender asked stopping by their table a bit later. "They're simply marvelous, thank you so much!" Carol congratulated her. "So glad to hear you like ‘em," she replied leaving them in peace. You could always count on Finns not wasting their time on small talk. 

When they were ready to leave, Therese went by the bar to thank her one more time. "You weren't boasting for nothing, I must say, and I'm a hard customer to please when it comes to cocktails." The woman smiled shyly and nodded her thanks. "Hey, if you'd like, I could show you two some good time here in Helsinki, I'm off duty in half an hour..." Therese wasn't the only one with a well-calibrated gaydar.

"No, I don't think so", she declined grinning knowingly. "Well, can't blame a girl for trying..." the woman quipped the corners of her eyes wrinkling of suppressed laughter. "Your friend by the way, she looks an awful lot like that Australian actress whose name I can't for the life of me remember right now..." Therese nodded amusedly. "Oh yeah, we get that a lot, but in the States people tend to think it's the other way around – you know, they say the actress – can't recall her name either! – that she resembles Carol, I mean Carolyn Ross, the singer. Ever heard of her? She's big over there." The woman shook her head apologetically. "Can't say I have, sorry." 

* * *

Therese passed the first round with flying colors with Bach, Schubert and two etudes, one from Chopin, the other from Rachmaninoff and a toccata by Debussy. As her freely chosen modern piece she went with Philip Glass – a very fine choice, Carol congratulated her later.

The second round lasting only two days with 14 participants left was considerably harder. Therese had decided to opt for an improvisation lasting no more than ten minutes the theme of which she was given just twenty minutes before performance. It was a risky choice but her gamble paid off well, she thought afterwards. The second part called for a Sibelius program no less than five minutes and the third one a program of her own choice. Her pick was Stravinsky – "That's bold!" Gen had enthused hearing it over the phone.

Waiting for the results, she was a nervous wreck making Carol crazy with her constant pacing around. "Cut that out, will you? You did good no matter what the outcome is," she said. Therese hated waiting but when the phone call finally did come through she was scared to pick it up. "Go on, go on!" Carol encouraged shoving the cell in her hand. "YES!" she exclaimed a minute later – she was one of the top six.

The finals started two days later. Abby and Gen arrived at Helsinki the day after they'd received the happy news from Carol. The three of them kept tight company the remaining spare moments – Therese was way to wired to be around at this point. "Dearest, you do remember to eat, don't you?" Carol worried watching Therese go through fingerings constantly in her mind. "Yeah, yeah..." she replied not really hearing a word. She was reaching her flow now and Carol knew better than to try and break her concentration. "I'll be off then, darling, call me if you need anything, okay?" Therese kissed her absentmindedly and retreated to her musings. Shaking her head, Carol closed the door.  

"She's going to faint on stage out of sheer exhaustion if this continues..." she confided to Abby and Gen. "Nah, she'll be fine. She's _in the zone_ now... Therese is a zen master in the process of finding her inner peace. _Be the piano, be the keys..._ " Gen visualized her point with some seriously weird Karate Kid moves. Carol shot a worrying glance at Abby who let out a sad little sigh.

* * *

The next day all three of them were sitting on the third row of the Helsinki Music Centre. The competition was open to the public, and the place seemed to be filling up. Carol hadn't really seen Therese all day yesterday, just felt her body close to hers at night when she had finally made it back to their room. 

Carol had wrapped her arms around her to calm her down, to help her catch sleep but Therese had wanted to make love instead. Without a word spoken they had moved against each other slowly, languidly, savoring each touch, each sensation the quiet hours had for them to offer. When Carol looked at her young lover, she saw her green eyes search hers as if they were looking straight into her soul. Therese was calmer now, almost serene, and when she smiled at Carol the darkened room seemed to open up to heavens above. A secret not yet quite uncovered bore wondrous fruit between their blissful bodies. 

Therese was to open the final round. It wasn't the spot she would've picked for herself, but it didn't really matter anymore. She couldn't have been more prepared. Her first piece was Shostakovich's Piano Quintet in G Minor, Op. 57. A gorgeous chamber work lasting half an hour gave her an invaluable chance to showcase her profound understanding of its curious nature and gradual sublimation of forms over everything else. Therese loved its kinship to Bach's musical architecture and harmonic soundscapes. Playing with a string quartet – two violins, viola and cello – she let the hypnotic music seep through every pore of her performance. 

The second round was to follow two days later and this time she was happy to be in the first group. The mere idea of having to wait yet another 24 hours for her turn would have been torture. She didn't lose her peace of mind, though, not for a second but the others could tell she wasn't quite present when they were having dinner in a small bistro adjacent to their hotel. 

"You okay, darling?" Carol asked cupping her hand with her palm. "I'm excellent", Therese said smiling drowsily at her. She hadn't touched her wine at all nor had she been particularly hungry. "Could we go back to our room now? I'm really sleepy..." Abby promised to take care of the check so they could leave right away. 

Therese took Carol's hand as they walked through the lobby. People going by, speaking that curious language she knew absolutely nothing about, seemed like actors in some strange dream unfolding in front of her, leaving her a confused bystander instead of an active participant. She fell asleep effortlessly her naked body pressed against Carol and in her slumber she could smell the sweet fragrance of her nearness enveloping her, cradling her deeper into sleep.

* * *

The second day of the finals put her in front of a symphony orchestra. Therese had made yet another brave choice: she was eager to coax Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 out of her instrument and out of her system, and she truly set out to do so. The pompous, spine tingling opening showed what a star Therese really was, Carol thought in awe of her. And she wasn't the only one, it seemed like the entire auditorium was waiting with abated breath what Therese would come up with next. 

What a tumultuous piece of music it was, maybe the most romantic piano concerto ever written, to be swept away by, to be possessed by... the passion, the mad precision, the fierce poeticism, the fanatic nature of its magnificence. And she was up to it, she was in full force – there was nothing dull or conventional about her interpretation, far from it, she was in flames, aching to arc again and again towards the dizzying heights the famous gay composer had reached in his unrelenting masterpiece. Her fingers hit the keys in frenzy only occasionally succumbing to lighter, more unassuming shades.

It was an intense half an hour in her life, one to remember, to relive and, undoubtedly after this performance, to revisit from time to time. The excitement in the Music Centre was so palpable, so unguarded it couldn't go unnoticed by anyone. Therese felt drained, she had given her all and she was happy it was finally over. The results would come day after tomorrow but right now she didn't care about it at all. Her mind had already wandered elsewhere – to the blonde beauty who was smiling at her from the third row.

"That was friggin' awesome, girl!" Gen interjected coming to see her afterwards. "For once I have to agree with her choice of words... it was truly breathtaking," Abby chimed in. She looked a bit shaken.  _Could it be that I had managed to get to her?_ Therese mused high spiritedly. "Darling, you were magnificent!" Carol grabbed her by the waist and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. "And it was _sooo hot_ to see you really giving it your everything." It wasn't customary for Carol to speak her mind so openly in front of other people and it made Abby and Gen chuckle uncontrollably. Therese tightened her grip of their embrace. "Oh yeah? Should we do something about it – right now?" She was rapidly regaining her _joie de vivre_. "Cut it out, will ya? We're going out to celebrate!" Abby interrupted. "Where was that cocktail joint again..?"

* * *

The visit to the speakeasy was well worth the next morning's slight headache since it brought about an interesting opportunity to experience "the quintessential Finnish summer night". Those were the very words the charming and extremely generous bartender had used before offering her summer cabin for them. She herself had no use for it at the moment so they were more than welcome to see how the Finns actually spend their warmest season.  

The cabin by the lake wasn't at all what they had expected. "Oh my fucking god, it's gorgeous out here..." gasped Gen when they got out of the taxi at the end of a narrow dirt road. They stood staring at the most amazing, fairytale view of a calm lake with a pair of swans gliding silently on its mirror-like surface. Therese took Carol's hand as if to ascertain what she saw was actually real and not just a dream shared together. The silence of the place was uncanny, hauntingly unreal and it lent the surroundings a quality of beauty unparalleled by anything she had experienced before. 

Their new friend had seen to everything making sure there were food, drinks and a well-heated sauna available for them the entire night they were to spend there. She had also left behind some instructions regarding the proper sauna etiquette.

 

> The Finns always go to sauna. Every single week all year around and in summertime often daily. It is customary for everyone to go together, preferably without a bathing suit. Finns never wear them, not even among strangers. Do remember that sauna has nothing to do with eroticism, it is a place for relaxation and quiet contemplation. Enjoy!

"So we're supposed to go together then.. " Gen started cautiously, "...naked?" She took turns looking at everyone. No one said a word. "It's just that you guys have a bit of an upper hand in this..." she continued addressing both Abby and Carol. "IN WHAT?" Abby asked impatiently. "Well, you've seen each other naked and you've seen me and Carol's seen Therese... it leaves us two somewhat _inexperienced_ so to speak." _Now I have heard it all_ , Therese thought a smile creeping on her face. "I mean it's okay with me, if you guys are up to it..." Gen volunteered. "I BET YOU ARE", Abby snapped back shooting an inquisitive glace at Carol. "Never gonna happen," Carol quipped dryly. _Thank god..._ They took turns.

* * *

Wearing her robe, Carol was sitting at the far end of the long pier facing the lake. Having just finished with sauna and swimming, she looked ravishing, almost reborn. She didn't have any makeup on and Therese thought she'd never looked lovelier. _This is as good time as any,_ Therese thought. Actually, there couldn't be a better moment than this. She took a deep breath and decided to take the step she had dreaded for so long.

"Carol..." she started suddenly overcome by her touching beauty, the impeccable features of her lovely face, the wet blonde curls peeking out of the towel turban. Her eyes crinkled of happiness seeing Therese approach her slowly. "Carol, my love..." she started only to interrupt the flow of words once more. "Yes, darling?" she asked quietly. "Carol, my heart is so full. I look at everything we have and it's almost too much. More than I ever imagined I could have. I look at all this here, the nature, the wonder of it, the light, the way the sun never dips below the horizon but raises itself up again as if we're witnessing a perpetual sunrise..." 

Therese dropped on one knee. "Carol, I look at our life as the perpetual sunrise it is, a miracle out of this universe, flung out off space for us to cherish – I want it and I need it for the rest of my life and I want the whole world to know it too... Carol, my love, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Would you be mine?" Therese opened a small velvet box and let the night light play on the cuts of the exquisite vintage diamond ring. Fearing the outcome of her gesture, she had hard time breathing. Carol looked at Therese the unforgettable gray eyes gleaming spectacularly, lit with tremendous love and hope and happiness. "Yes, yes I would. Oh yes, yes, thousand times yes!" 

\--

A loud knock on the door startled Abby and Gen. "Cut the hanky panky and drag your sorry asses over here!" Carol yelled, "We're engaged to be married!" Therese popped the champagne and pressed her smiling lips on Carol's happy mouth.

_And yes, she did win the damn competition._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, I'm pathetic... I wrote myself inside the fic and even propositioned to them both - well, sue me, I can't decide... lmfao *sorry/notsorry
> 
> A few pics of the Finnish summer night:
> 
> http://www.luonnonvalo.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/20150510_0524-58_072.jpg
> 
> https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/71/Nuuksio_National_Park.JPG
> 
> http://www.nuuksiontaika.fi/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/DSC_6055_56_57_58_59_60_61_tonemapped.jpg


	9. Baby Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's a loooong chapter 9/10 and a lot of music:
> 
> Franz Liszt: Liebestraum (Lang Lang, piano)  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1yiNus7qgS4LTXDFJDJIEZ  
> Julie London: Fly Me to the Moon  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5hbNSo9Ckl7ku8664sn0Jj  
> Ella Fitzgerald: I Hadn't Anyone Till You  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/5TXVzFvCkoFHyk6vgH0U2x  
> Edward Elgar: Cello Concerto in E minor, Op. 85  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/05kFmw1ZVQKagZv3jq1H62  
> April Stevens: Teach me Tiger  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/4AIxuI3VIoywp3NUJnpXYm  
> Bette Midler: Baby Mine  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/7whbB67mJZzBpvMmnyVWRl
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

_Marriage… something I never imagined for myself_ , Therese thought. She lay on the bed listening to the sounds coming from the bathroom. Carol was taking a shower and, as always, she was taking her time with it. _That woman enjoys her bath time_ , she smiled.

They had come back home a week earlier blissfully happy. Winning the competition had postponed their return a couple of days. Therese had given interviews to the international press and a final performance for the enthusiastic crowd waiting to see one more glimpse of her.

She’d been the audience favorite as well, and she could feel the love surrounding her in the Helsinki Music Centre. Her choice to pamper the crowd had been Franz Liszt’s _Liebestraum_ , a hauntingly brilliant piece which she knew better than any other work in her repertoire Chopin’s _Tristesse_ excluded.

And now she was at home, the home of two people eager to tie the knot. Carol wanted to get her an engagement ring right away. “This kind of thing just can’t wait”, she’d told her, “I want everyone to know you’re also spoken for, darling.” Therese had  of course nothing against it, she enjoyed seeing Carol so worked up about flaunting the tokens of their commitment to one another.

Rindy had noticed Carol’s ring immediately. “Mom… are you guys engaged?” she had asked her voice all tender. “Yes, sweetheart, we are…” Carol had confirmed hugging her tightly. Therese had been overjoyed to see Rindy so happy, so excited about the prospect of a new wedding. “What am I going to wear?” she fretted already. “Honeybun, we haven’t even set the date yet, you’ll have plenty of time to think it over”, Carol laughed.

“I want us to get hitched as soon as possible”, Therese declared when they were having their supper. “Hitched..?” Carol chuckled. “Afraid I might change my mind? Not gonna happen, my love,” she assured her young bride. “But we could very well decide it soon. The venues get booked so early in advance – if we act now, we could do it, say, next June?” _Venues? Next June?!? Why can’t we just walk into a city clerk's office and be done with it?_ Therese wondered. “And I’m _not_ going to get married in some impersonal office space, you can bet your life on it. I want the works, all of it”, Carol quipped reading her unorthodox thoughts. “Okay, let’s have a proper wedding then…” Therese relented smiling obediently. When Carol had decided something there was no way to turn her head.

* * *

Carol was to have a concert at the Madison Square Garden the following week. Therese was eager to be present for the special occasion and she had made plans to attend it with Abby and Gen. Carol had been somewhat secretive the entire week but Therese thought it had to do with stage fright she every once in a while experienced. It was, after all, going to be a huge deal, a sold-out performance with a symphony orchestra.

They took their VIP places at the front row well in advance. “Have you seen the song list, Abby?” Therese asked growing slightly nervous in anticipation. “I sure have,” she replied letting her know there was no friggin’ way she would utter another word about it. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” It occurred to Therese she hadn't seen Carol perform live in a long time. Maybe that was why she was so jittery all of a sudden.

The auditorium fell silent and the lights dimmed. A single spotlight found Carol on stage, and the unfolding scene made Therese gasp out of pleasure. Carol was the epitome of glamour in her silky spaghetti strap dress that fit her waist perfectly. Her blonde hair was lusciously wavy framing her sculpted features gently. The crimson lips curved into a sexy smile when she spotted Therese gazing at her. _The eyes, the eyes…_ Therese marveled – the incomparable gray eyes were beaming at her, winking lovingly her way. 

The string section started plucking the first sounds of the opening number and Carol was quick to follow along a few bars later.

 _Fly me to the moon and_  
_Let me play among the stars_  
_Let me see what spring is like on_  
_Jupiter and Mars_

_In other words, hold my hand  
In other words, darling, kiss me_

Smiling, Carol threw Therese a kiss.

 _Fill my heart with song and let me sing for ever more_  
_You are all I long for_  
_All I worship and adore_  
_In other words, please be true_  
_In other words, I love you_

And now she winked at her.

 _Fill my heart with song_  
_And let me sing for ever more_  
_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore_

 _In other words, please be true_  
_In other words_  
_I love you_

Therese was grinning wildly, applauding with the rest of the enthusiastic crowd. When the applauses finally died down Carol started her opening remarks.

“Good evening… it _is_ a good evening, isn’t it?” The audience murmured its animated approval. “I’m feeling quite _amorous_ tonight…” she continued nearly blushing at the whistles coming from the back rows. “…and there’s a perfectly good reason for it!” Carol smiled trying tenderly to quiet her listeners down. “I’m getting married!” There was no stopping for the excitement that followed. "A lot of hearts breaking out there tonight..." Gen whispered to Therese.

“I’d like to dedicate the next song to my beloved, my fiancée, who is here with me tonight. Who is always with me and always will…” Carol paused gazing lovingly at Therese. “Darling, this is for you…”

 _I hadn't anyone_  
_Till you_  
_I was the lonely one_  
_Till you_

Therese was melting under Carol’s adoring attention.

 _I used to lie awake and wonder_  
_If there could be_  
_A someone in this wide world_  
_Just made for me_  
  
_Now I see I had to save my love_  
_For you_  
_I never gave my love_  
_Till you_

Deeply moved, she could feel tears of joy welling up in her eyes.

 _And through my lonely heart demanding it_  
_Cupid took a hand in it_  
_I hadn't anyone_  
_Till you_

When the last notes withered away, Therese stood up and threw kisses to Carol who suddenly stepped off the stage and came to her. “You make me so happy…” Therese managed to say wiping the corners of her eyes. “I love you...” Carol kissed her right on the lips which induced another round of wild applause and stomping of feet. Laughing, Therese tried to dock the spotlight not really succeeding.

“At least we now know what the TMZ’s going to say tomorrow…” Gen whispered to Abby. “What?” she asked disturbed by her abrupt remark. “Carolyn Ross is a cunning linguist, read all about it…” Gen chuckled shamelessly. “For fuck’s sake, you really had to ruin this moment?” Abby glared back. It was kind of funny, though, she had to admit placing her arm around Gen’s shoulders.

* * *

Afterwards they headed straight to Carol’s dressing room. The set had been an especially long one lasting nearly two and a half hours. The star of the evening was however not exhausted at all. “Come here, my love. I need you close to me,” she called out to Therese the moment she saw her at the doorway. Therese took her in her arms kissing her neck so passionately it made Carol shudder.

“Abby dear, is everything ready?” Carol asked not letting go of Therese’s waist. “Everything’s fine and dandy, the car’s waiting outside whenever you’re ready.” Puzzled, Therese looked at the three of them suddenly realizing she was the only one who didn’t know what was going on. “What’s this?” she inquired. “You’ll see…” Carol smiled caressing her cheek.

A half an hour later Carol and Therese were sitting in a limo. Therese still hadn’t any clue what was about to happen. After a while she realized they were heading toward the airport. “Come on, tell me already!” she demanded tickling Carol to spill the beans. “I’m not going to tell you, not just yet, so cut it out!” Carol laughed fighting her hands. “I’d rather you put these in better use, darling…” she said capturing her wrists. “I will if you tell me…” Therese insisted. She didn’t have to wait much longer, though. A private plane was waiting for them on the runway.

“Oh Carol…” started Therese her eyes wide open. “I took the liberty to pack you everything you’d possibly need for this getaway,” Carol informed, “and I even remembered your passport.” Smiling deliciously she continued: “The flight time to St. Lucia is just long enough for us to properly join the mile high club…” Blushing, Therese felt a familiar rush of warmth in her groin.         

* * *

A long weekend at Jade Mountain, St. Lucia, was their slice of tropical heaven. Sandy beaches, majestic mountain vistas and the eternal Caribbean sea left them speechless. Therese let her gaze linger endlessly on Carol examining in close detail every freckle the mighty sun awarded her.

“You look so sun-kissed I’m almost jealous…” Carol murmured when they were enjoying their private ensuite infinity pool. Therese’s smile was indeed more radiant than ever. This was after all the first romantic holiday they had ever had. First of many, Carol promised.

She pulled Carol closer lifting her gently on her lap, kissing the curve of her jaw, the beautifully protruding collarbones. The panoramic view of the Pitons and the Caribbean Sea would’ve been enough to take anyone’s breath away but the sight Therese held in her arms was all she wanted at this very minute.

The warm water enveloping them in its tender caress, she let her hands dive under its surface and unfastened Carol’s bikini top. Her breathing picking up speed, Therese pressed her mouth against the ruby red lips determined to open them wider, to excite her to move against her tighter. Carol closed her eyes feeling her own response gaining momentum, becoming aware of the multitude of sensations Therese’s roving hands were coaxing out of her. Their tongues explored, expanded the limits of desire inside their joined, melting mouths. Carol clung to her embraces wanting it, welcoming it willingly. Guiding Therese inside her, rocking on top of her first slowly, then in steady, fervent rhythm, Carol bowed her head to fix her eyes on the love of her life not wanting to break contact for one second. “Carol…” Therese groaned as her lover reached her climax pressing her legs around her waist under the rippling water.  

* * *

“Darling… I have something for you,” Carol said later the same evening. “Something special for you to wear.” Therese looked at her curiously. “I already have my ring, remember, that’s all I’m going to wear for you tonight, my love.” The spectacular platinum engagement ring Carol had bought for her shone already on her finger.

“I want you to have this also.” Carol handed her a jewelry box. Dumbfounded, Therese sat down on the edge of the bed and opened it. Inside was an exquisite necklace – a pair of delicate, stylized wings embellished with tiny diamonds. “You’re my angel, you do know that?” Carol’s voice was no louder than a whisper. “I want you to fly, to soar above the mere existence of everyday life…” Sitting next to Therese, she kissed her temple. “Only if you fly with me,” Therese smiled pulling her close once again.   

* * *

Back home they were met with exciting news – Gen would finally make her debut as soloist with the New York Philharmonic at Lincoln Center. The star of the upcoming event was a nervous wreck. “I’m so not going to make it!” she wailed at Therese and Carol while the four of them were having dinner out. “Of course you are, you nitwit!” exclaimed Abby who had undoubtedly been listening to her desperation for quite some time now.

“C’mon, Gen, I know it’s terrifying, it always is, but you’re a splendid cellist – even Yo-Yo Ma thought so, remember?” Therese offered as consolation. At the same time she knew nothing she or anyone said could pull her out of her trepidation just yet. Gen needed time, she needed to wrap her head around it. Once she’d managed to do that, everything would be easier. “I’m going to call the whole thing off”, Gen started her voice shaking. “That’s it, I’ll just call tomorrow and tell ‘em it’s not happening,” she added. “What are you? A seven-year-old who doesn’t want to go to school in the morning?” Abby demanded to know. _She’s not helping_ , Therese thought cringing at her ill-advised quip. “Keep a lid on it, Abby, it’s the temper of an artist and you’ll have to live it”, Carol commented noticing Therese’s pained expression. “You’ve been around performers half of your life and I’ve never seen you _this_ rattled before”, she added amusedly.

“She’s rattled?” Gen asked snapping out of her inner turmoil. “Yes, dear, she loves you very much”, Carol smiled patting her hand. “Her bark is worse than her bite but I’m sure you know it by now.” Abby made a face at Carol who couldn’t but laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. “Look at you two, I mean _really_ …” Carol scoffed.

“So how was the Caribbean?” Abby said changing the subject. “It was divine…” Therese beamed. “Better than Finland?” Gen asked feeling a lot better already. “Nothing’s better than Finland,” Carol smiled lacing her fingers with Therese’s under the table. “Hear, hear! I’ll have to say nothing I’ve tasted after our trip has come anywhere close to that reindeer tenderloin I ate in Helsinki,” Abby pointed out. “The best piece of meat I’ve ever had,” she concluded causing Gen to nearly choke on her pasta. “After you, of course, my darling…” Abby corrected squeezing her thigh lewdly.

“Anything else you got planned?” Gen asked making conversation. Therese and Carol exchanged glances not knowing whether they should say a word about it just yet. “Okay, let’s have it.” You just couldn’t fool Abby. “We already know the wedding’s next summer so that can’t be it. Spill it out.” Carol knotted her brow. “Well, we had a kind of a talk… about the future and stuff.” She was still very apprehensive if they should say anything at all. “Therese, it’s up to you if you want to talk about it.” Therese nodded. “Okay, I guess we might as well tell you guys although this is just preliminary thinking on our part, please remember it…” Gen and Abby were staring at her intently. “OUT WITH IT NOW.” Chuckling, Therese decided to humor them.

“Well, we’ve been thinking about adding a new member to our family…” Her voice died down. “A cat, a dog, a chimpanzee?” Gen jumped right in. “Shut the fuck up, Cantrell, and let her speak. I think I know where this is heading…” Abby was impatient to hear the rest. “A child, a baby sister or brother to Rindy…” Therese added quietly. Gen stared at her nonplussed. The news hadn’t yet sunk in. “I mean we might as well start now – I’m at the suitable age and Carol’s not getting any younger…” Therese explained winking at Carol. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean!?” Carol exclaimed grabbing her arm. “Well, _none_ of us is getting any younger…” Therese started. “Too little, too late, honey”, Abby laughed her face all lit up. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. Have you already decided how to proceed with it?” Carol shook her head. “Not quite but I suppose we’ll go to some clinic and use an anonymous donor… it’s a lot to digest, the whole of it.”

Gen had a sly grin on her face. “If you’re interested, I can always ask my Mom to lend her turkey baster…” For once Abby found her comment truly funny. “And that’s pretty much already half of it, right? Then all you have to do is find some poor unsuspecting guy and trick some sperm out of him!” The two of them were roaring of laughter. “And you thought this was a good thing – telling them I mean?” Carol said to Therese sounding still somewhat amused. “It felt like a good idea at the time.” They had to laugh along, there was no escaping it.

* * *

Four weeks later they attended Gen’s debut concert. Therese was excited to be sitting in the audience for a change. She knew what went through Gen’s mind right before the performance but she wasn’t worried one bit. The calmness had set upon her friend about a week before the big day, a calmness she knew every performer searched for. Yet it didn’t necessarily take the stage fright away; in fact it was essential to have the butterflies for it was thanks to them one was able to achieve the level of excellence required to move an audience.

She was very proud to see her friend step on the stage in her elegant velvet dress. For once Gen wasn’t grinning. She was _in the zone_.

Therese knew the piece, Edward Elgar’s _Cello Concerto in E minor, Op. 85_ , by heart. She’d witnessed Gen practicing it so many times that when she now closed her eyes, she could still see how the pernambuco bow landed on the strings with her irresistible bravado. The opening recitative was already enough to bring tears in one’s eyes, she thought watching Gen’s masterful bow technique and the nimble way the fingertips of her left hand moved along the strings. _Abby’s one lucky woman_ , Therese thought all of a sudden. By the look on her face, she herself knew it too.  

The recitative was immediately followed by clarinets, bassoons and horn after which it was her solo turn again. Then the main theme, the heart-wrenching melody, came along in its crushing beauty. Therese squeezed Carol’s hand knowing she felt the same way.

She loved seeing and hearing Gen play, she loved the serenity she exuded filling the concert hall with the meditative gentleness of her noble rendition. The way she kept her own eyes closed all the way through tilting her head ever so slightly to the movements of the music – she knew this side of Gen, the forever loving and understanding side of her, and as Therese recognized it once again hearing her cello reach its most harrowing peaks, she was filled with such love for her.

“Good God, girlfriend, you were out of this world!” Therese exclaimed hugging Gen after the performance. “I’m so friggin’ proud of you I’m about to explode!” she continued. “I did pretty good, didn’t I?” Holding several bouquets of flowers, Gen was beaming and giggling uncontrollably. “Gen…” Abby started, “What you just did was… I mean… you just…” _Was Abby suddenly at a loss for words? Abby of all people?_ Gen pressed a wet kiss on Abby’s lips and grabbed her ass. “I just made love to you with my cello, honey…” She was back to normal. "Take her home and make it snappy... I’d say you definitely deserve it after this one”, Carol laughed winking at Gen.   

* * *

**_Flash forward to early June the next year_ **

The past eleven months Therese and Carol had shared had been exceptionally happy. They had been living in the joyful anticipation of their upcoming nuptials which had taken a considerable time to arrange. Having more free time in her hands than Therese, Carol had taken most of the responsibility on her shoulders and she was thriving at it. She was having the time of her life planning everything with Abby. “It’s like we’re two school girls again, full of pranks and mischief”, she told Therese. “You were sleeping together when you were school girls, so I’m not sure how I feel about it…” Therese laughed at her.

Something wonderful had happened to Therese. She felt confident, not at all afraid anymore. Therese knew she had Carol’s love and undivided attention and it made her flourish in a way she had never expected she would. She thought about the e.e. cummings’ poem she had always loved yet never truly fathomed it could be true until now.

_i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)_

_i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)_

_i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)_

_i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)_  
_and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant_  
_and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;_

_which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)  
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart_

_i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)_

Therese carried Carol’s heart and she hers, of that she was absolutely certain. 

* * *

“You’re ready?” Gen was standing behind the door of their apartment grinning wickedly. “Ready for what?” Therese asked. “Were we supposed to do something today..?” _Had she forgotten some plan they had made? What the fuck?_ She turned and saw Carol smiling at her meaningfully.

“Oh no…” Therese started backing away. “OH YES…” Gen shouted gleefully. “It’s your bachelorette party night, yay!” Carol was blocking her escape. “You’d better do what she says, darling… I won’t wait up but you be a good girl now – you do know what I do to bad girls, remember?” She kissed Therese and winked at Gen. “No funny business, Miss Cantrell, am I making myself clear? You bring her back home in one piece, okay?” Nodding, Gen grumbled something unintelligible in return.

“After you, mademoiselle…” Gen opened the limo door for her. “How about having some of this excellent bubbly before we go and fetch our partners in crime?” She was in her element. “Gen, I have to tell you something.” Therese looked very serious all of a sudden. “I can’t drink.” Gen eyed her amusedly. “Yeah, right. Since when?” Therese stared back. “Since thirty minutes ago.” Her friend wasn’t getting it at all. “I’m pregnant.” You could have knocked Gen out with a feather. “Even Carol doesn’t know it yet. I meant to tell her tonight.”

A wide smile spread on Gen’s face. “You’re pregnant? Oh honey, you’re pregnant, how wonderful!” She was examining Therese’s stomach. “Goddammit, Cantrell, I just did the test half an hour ago, it’s not like it’s already showing!” Gen was screeching of happiness. “You’re pregnant! YOU’RE PREGNANT, OH HONEY!” Therese cringed. “I’d rather Carol didn’t find out like this either so please keep your voice down…” Gen shut up instantly. “I didn’t even know that you were already trying?” she said. “We weren’t really, that’s the weird part of it. We’ve been to the clinic only once and we were told that it would probably take many visits and maybe even hormone treatments but… well, I guess I’m fertile or something.” Therese smiled shyly.

Then it seemed to hit Gen. “Wait a minute, you’re pregnant – and it’s your bachelorette party…” Therese rolled her eyes knowingly. “Okay, okay, we can make this work…” Gen was trying to come up with a solution. “Since we can’t very well cancel this at such late hour, I suggest we’ll make yours a booze free night.” She was being optimistic. “I’d appreciate it,” Therese sighed. “Don’t you worry, honey, I’ll be whisking Shirley Temples your way the entire night through”, Gen assured her. “Although tonight could be somewhat easier for you with whole body anaesthesia…” Therese sank back on the backseat. _Why do I feel I’m going to remember this night?_

The rest of the gang was to picked up along the way. Therese could feel her mood brightening already when she saw Dannie and Alice get into the car. Abby was going to join them at their first stop. She was also the only one allowed to take part in both bachelorette parties – Carol was going to get hers the day after. Only two more people were waiting for their ride. When Therese saw them, she beamed at Gen. “I’m so proud of you”, she whispered in her ear. Gen smiled sheepishly and opened the car door to Alex and her new girlfriend Christina.

* * *

They spent the first part of the day in a spa relaxing and having an all-around swell time drinking and joking around. “Did Carol appreciate the… umm, women’s fashion I helped you to choose?” Alice asked grinning deliciously. “She did, indeed. It’s a gift that keeps on giving… Thanks again for your help, couldn’t have done it without you”, Therese laughed happily.

Gen was doing a brilliant job sneaking nonalcoholic drinks to her without anyone paying attention to it. Not even Abby who was usually quick to register everything noticed anything fishy. Therese got to know Alex’s new partner Christina, a lovely singer-songwriter who gave singing lessons as her part time job. They seemed to be very much in love, but what delighted Therese most was the rapport between Gen and Alex. They were talking and really enjoying each other’s company. Both had moved on and obviously left their bitter feelings behind. _Maybe they could finally be friends?_ Therese hoped. _Like Carol and Abby._              

Afterwards they went to have a fancy dinner together. “My treat”, informed Abby and her decision was non-negotiable though Dannie did his damnedest to twist her arm. Therese was having such a wonderful time she forgot it was _her special night_ – bad mistake. Only Therese could lull herself into such false sense of security at a time like this. The proverbial bachelorette shit was about to hit the fangirl…  

* * *

The high point of the evening was to take place in a secret location. Therese was blindfolded and then driven around downtown to make her lose her sense of direction. She was taken inside a building she obviously didn’t recognize and left sitting on a chair. Suddenly there was music blaring out of the loud speakers and the blindfold was off: Therese was staring straight at a pair of boobs of _considerable_ volume.

 _Hi Tiger!_  
  
The scantily and garishly clad woman sat on Therese’s lap facing her. She started to lip sync in a lustful manner.

 _Teach me tiger how to kiss you… wah wah wah wah wah_  
_Show me tiger how to kiss you… wah wah wah wah wah_

She pushed her well-endowed bosom on her face… (Fucking Cantrell I’m going to kill you…)

 _Take my lips, they belong to you..._  
_But teach me first, teach me what to do..._  
  
…and grinded herself against Therese’s stiffened, helpless body (those knockers can't possibly be real...)

 _Touch me tiger when I'm close to you… wah wah wah wah wah_  
_Help me tiger I don't know what to do… wah wah wah wah wah_

“Need dollar bills, Belivet?” Gen shouted (I will rip out your beating heart and feed it to you…)

 _I know that you could love me to_  
_But show me first, show me what to do_

She could smell the body paint and the over-the-top make-up filling her nostrils when the woman swirled the tassels attached to her bra.

 _This is the first love, that I have ever known_  
_What must I do to make you my very own.. ?_

Dannie was whistling, heck – everybody was, to be honest…

 _Teach me tiger how to tease you… wah wah wah wah wah_  
_Tiger, tiger I wanna squeeze you… wah wah wah wah wah_

Her cheeks dark red, Therese felt extremely embarrassed by the very first lap dance of her life.

 _All of my love I will give to you_  
_But teach me tiger... or I'll teach you…_  
  
Finally grinning, she slid a twenty dollar bill inside the woman’s thong.

* * *

When she finally made it back home she was pleased to find Carol still up with her book. “Hi, darling… did you have a fun night?” she asked putting away her reading glasses. “I did, actually”, Therese smiled. “Now, wait a minute – you seem awfully sober… I thought I’d have to help you throw up in the toilet when you get back.” Carol had a worried look on her face. “Did something go wrong?” Therese buried her head in her bosom. “No, my love, nothing’s wrong. Quite the contrary.”

She sat up to look at her lovingly. “I just didn’t drink anything.” Carol waited for her to continue. “But you may have to hold my hair back pretty soon. If I start throwing up, I mean…” A warm smile lit Therese’s face but it couldn’t compare to the surprise taking over Carol’s. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying..?” she whispered her voice hoarse all of a sudden. “Yes, my love.”

Her eyes filling with tears, Carol took her hands and kissed them tenderly unable to say anything for a moment. Then, trembling of immense love and gratitude, she finally stated the simple truth:

“My baby’s having a baby…”    


	10. A Thousand Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, folks. I think I've pretty much exhausted the saga of Angel Eyes :) and I've certainly emptied my bag of fluff for a while after this... Enjoy <3
> 
> The songs for the last chapter:
> 
> Barbra Streisand: Don't Rain On My Parade  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/0BhenWIyARdKVvBQ1qhX9i  
> Lakmé (Act 1): Flower Duet  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/1bpCGdXarjMhSZH8MV7w6G  
> Edith Piaf: Hymne à l'amour  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/2yrcelkgAxTBQnBc91Ic0Z  
> Christina Perri: A Thousand Years  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/6z5Yh7kOKeLjqIsNdokIpU
> 
> If you want the link for the entire playlist on Spotify, inbox me and I'll send it to you!

“Get the fuck out of my way!” Therese shrieked running to the bathroom. Gen opened the door and let her friend stick her head inside the toilet. “Seriously, Belivet, you’re such a morning person…”

The morning didn’t quite start as Therese had hoped it would. After all, it was the day of her wedding and she, the blushing bride, was busy hurling her guts in the bathroom. When she finally came out, her face was all pale and sweaty. “What is it again everybody says about pregnant women..? That they’re glowing?” Gen mused wistfully. Shooting an angry glance at her, Therese sat at the table. Therese wished she were at home but no, she had woken up at Abby and Gen’s apartment instead. She hadn’t been allowed to spend this last single night of her life with Carol. Morning sickness made her cranky and when she was cranky she complained.

“Cut it out,” Gen interrupted, “you’re here because it is the rule – you’re not supposed to be with your fiancée the night before the nuptials”, Gen explained. Abby was busily gathering her things. She was going to see Carol at their place in half an hour. “Damn right,” she quipped, “and you’re not to see the bride before the ceremony either, so Gen – make sure she won’t!” Gen nodded impatiently sending her away with a quick kiss.

“Talk about timing… I had no idea this ordeal would start so early in the game!” Therese couldn’t think about eating but at least she was regaining her sense of humor. When the nausea subsided, she felt yet another movement in her stomach – a serious case of butterflies. Her thoughts wandering to the day ahead, she smiled inwardly, conscious of the excitement taking over her whole being. 

“Are you gonna hurl the entire day or what?” Gen was being her charming, straight-forward self. “No, I think I’m done for today”, Therese answered, “so far it’s only been the first few moments of the morning when it’s this bad.” In fact, she was quite confident about it. 

“So Miss Belivet – enjoy the last few hours of hearing me say that.” Gen had a wide grin on her face. “Oh god… this is it, then,” Therese acknowledged taking a deep breath. “It sure is and we have a lot to do in a relatively short time… your hair, make-up, the dress, of course, and what about the flowers? Do we pick them up from somewhere or are they being delivered to the Garden?”

Both the wedding ceremony and the reception were to be held in Brooklyn Botanic Garden, the place both she and Carol had fallen in love with the very first time they’d visited it together. “Well, aren’t you a swell bridesmaid! Aren’t you supposed to know all that?” Therese retorted. “Relax, honey, I’m just teasing you… I’ve got it all under control”, she laughed amused by Therese’s apparent nervousness.   

* * *

“Oh, Therese…” Gen sighed when she finally saw her in her wedding dress. Smiling shyly, Therese turned around in front of a full size mirror marveling the sight of her bridal glory. The white gown was blindingly stunning, a lacy Givenchy haute couture number with a marvelously low cleavage, an enticing opening to show some leg and a long train she had to pick up when moving around. The exquisitely embroidered four-inch T-bars perfected the outlook. Her hair was done up in an elegant fashion drawing all attention to her remarkable face. The necklace Carol had given her adorned her delicate collarbones perfectly. 

“Here, have some bubbly…eh… soda. Looking at you, I definitely need champagne,” Gen said reaching for the Moët Chandon. “Gee… I feel pretty swanky.” The dimples were showing and they were adorable. “It’s going to be a short wedding…” Therese raised her eyebrows at Gen’s comment. “Carol’s gonna want to rip that thing off the moment she sees you.” Both chuckling, they decided it was getting close now. Dannie would be there to pick them up any time now.

When Therese stepped outside, Dannie’s jaw dropped. “Wow, just wow…” Therese beamed at his excitement. “Thanks, D…” Gen patted him on the shoulder. “You drive safely now, okay? I don’t want us to be railed off the road you gawking at her on the rear view mirror all the time…”    

* * *

It was the most glorious day one could ever imagine. Sun, the sovereign goddess of the sky, was showering the earth with its magnificent splendor. A spectacular sight awaited them at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden: the wonderful milieu was flawlessly set up for the celebration of their love and commitment. They were to have the ceremony outdoors by the Lily Pool and the party at the gorgeous glass-walled Palm House.

Gen’s phone was buzzing. “Hi, hon.” It was Abby. “Yeah, we just got here. Where are you guys?” Therese couldn’t make out Abby’s reply. “You stay put over there and we’ll find some other place…” She paused. “Meet you – now? Okay, give us five and we’ll be there.” Gen opened the limo door and gave Dannie his instructions. “Drive to the back so we’ll get her in without anyone seeing. Abby’ll meet us at the door.”

The guests were already pouring in, all two hundred of them. Therese couldn’t believe the amount of people they were inviting when Carol first mentioned it but if this was what she wanted, Therese had nothing against it. “The more the merrier…” Abby had volunteered as her humble opinion.  

“My God, Therese…” Abby was seriously out of breath seeing her arrive. “Carol’s going to think she’s died and gone to heaven when she casts her eye on you _in that_!” _Am I going to grin the whole day through_? Therese mused happily. “So glad you approve, my dear,” she purred in response. “My, my, aren’t we being coy all of a sudden?” Abby was in high spirits.

Now all they had to do was wait. Therese could hear her stomach churn not having eaten a thing the whole afternoon. _Why is it, there’s never a sandwich or even a canapé lying around when you need one?_

* * *

Carol was looking out the window when Abby got back. “You alright, honey?” she asked shutting the door behind her. Smiling, Carol turned around. She looked absolutely stunning in her ivory colored vintage dress with heart-shaped embroidery and peekaboo lace at the waist. It accentuated her slim figure as if it had been specifically made for her luscious body.

“I’m excellent. A bit nervous, yes…” she admitted. Abby came to her and wrapped her arms around her. “It comes with the territory. I’m sure if I’m ever in your place, I’ll be a nervous wreck.” She chuckled. “Have you thought about it?” Carol asked sharply. “Well, it’s still early to know… she’s young.” Abby rolled her eyes. “Therese is young and here I am”, Carol smiled back. “We’ll wait and see, who knows”, Abby replied. “At least Katherine has warmed up to me.” Curious to know more, Carol waited for her to continue. “She thinks I’ve done wonders to Gen’s career… she even calls me Abby now instead of Miss Gerhard!” It obviously meant a lot to her, Carol realized.

“My second time around, at the altar, I mean.” Carol sounded serious. “Your second and last”, Abby confirmed. “The first one wasn’t much to shout about”, she continued, “and it’s not like you could even compare one with another.” Carol took her hand. “I know, I really do. I thought I’d never get married again but here I am, so anxious to start on this path with Therese.”

She let out a little laugh. “Did you know she was afraid to propose to me because of how I reacted to the news of Harge’s marriage?” Abby did know but remained silent. “She thought I’d grown to despise the entire concept after my own failure… I’m so happy she found the courage to do it anyway.” Abby nodded. “She’s very brave.” It was Carol’s turn to agree. “She is the bravest person I’ve ever known in my life.”     

“How is she?” Carol asked quietly knowing she had just met Therese. “She’s fabulous but that’s all I’m going to tell you.” Abby was smiling reassuringly. “How was the morning? Was she awfully sick again?” Abby patted her hand. “No more than usual, I guess, but she’s doing okay now. Never better.” Relieved, Carol sighed. “A less than a year from now we’ll be cradling a baby…” Her smile was adorable. “Do you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl? Beforehand, I mean,” Abby asked. “Probably not. It won’t make any difference.” Abby chuckled. “It’ll be a boy, I’ll bet on it. For some reason lesbians seem to breed mostly sons…”  

* * *

At quarter to two, Rindy came in to greet Therese in her adorable flower girl outfit. She was beaming with happiness. “Oh Rindy… you look so beautiful!” Therese exclaimed hugging the girl tightly. “And you’re going to make Mommy very happy,” she replied joyously. “We’re all set now, aren’t we, Therese?” Rindy was raring to go. “A few more minutes and then we’ll be on our way, okay? You go first and I’ll follow you soon after?” Therese winked at her. “Okay, I guess I can wait a few more minutes…”

Therese could hear the music start – _The Flower Duet_ from _Lakmé_. _This is my cue_ , she thought nodding at Rindy who smiled and jumped on her feet. _I have never been this nervous in my life_ , she knew, _or never this happy…_

Holding her bouquet of gardenias, she walked through the building where she’d been hiding from prying eyes, all the way to the terrace area as if in a dream. The rays of the sun blinded her for a second but then, her gaze focusing again, she saw Carol at the end of the runway looking so ravishing it made Therese gasp out of sheer delight. She tried to concentrate in following Rindy’s footsteps, in keeping her breathing as steady as possible.

Carol was beaming, catching breath, at the sight of her Therese. When they were finally side by side, Carol took her hand and leaned in to whisper: “Oh my darling… never in my life, have I seen anything as radiant as you are right now.” Her chest heaving, Therese smiled squeezing her hand firmly. She breathed Carol in and felt spectacularly dizzy.

Afterwards Therese remembered very little what the officiant had said during the ceremony. She couldn’t take her eyes off Carol who was just as eager to maintain their adoring eye contact. When it was time to exchange wows, she finally snapped out of her lovely trance. It was Carol who spoke first.

> “Therese, my dearest, everything comes full circle today as we’re standing here side by side in the presence of our friends and loved ones. There have been no accidents on my way to you although I did meet you by chance, by a sheer stroke of _jocund_ fortune. You have changed everything in my life and I’m in awe of you, in awe of your beauty as a human. Today I promise you this: I will share each day of my life with you. I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow, in heaven and hell, Therese, we two together… I’ll share your dreams and help you fulfill them in any way I can. I will be there for you always to listen with compassion and understanding, to speak with encouragement and candor. I will worship your body with mine never forgetting what it is that makes us tick.” _She smiled knowingly at Therese._ “I give you all of my love. I give you myself.”

Carol drew a deep breath and Therese knew it was her turn now.

> “Carol, _babe_ …” _Audience chuckled._ “I’ve loved you from the very first moment I met you and my cup runneth over when I see you here with me today. I am your biggest fan in everything you do, in everything you are, for you are magnificent, brilliant, loving, breathtaking, sexy as fuck…” _More chuckles._ “I want the whole world to know I’m marrying the most incredible person in the world; I am marrying you, joining my life with yours, and I know my last conscious thought in this world will be you, Carol. I want to make you happy each day of your life, each minute of it. I give everything I am to you for without you I’m nothing. Take my body and my soul, my entire life.”

They exchanged rings, and hearing Gen yell “kiss!” from the audience they were more than happy to oblige. And it was quite a kiss, one that was cut off only after Gen yelled again “get a room!” The happy _married_ couple chuckled along with the rest. 

Abby gave a cue to the singer waiting on the side. Picking up the microphone, the woman stood up and started her rendition of Edith Piaf’s _Hymne à l’amour_ , The Hymn to Love. Each guest had been given an English translation of the song.

   

_The blue sky may collapse on us_

_And the Earth may well crumble down_

_Little I care, if you love me_

_I don't give a fuck about the world_

_As long as love will flood my mornings_

_As long as my body will shudder in your hands_

_Little I care about problems_

_My love, when you love me…_

 

A thousand white doves were released to whir high into the air above their happy faces. 

* * *

“Therese said fuck!” Rindy enthused to Abby after the ceremony. “Hmm, did she really?” Abby said biting her lower lip. “I thought she said fun, I’m sure she said fun – sexy and fun, good things both…” she corrected the little girl without losing her poker face for one second. “What does ‘shudder in your hands’ mean?” Rindy continued. “C’mon, smartie pants, let’s go and taste some of those hors d’oevres…” Laughing, Abby dragged her to the buffet table. 

* * *

“Good lord, I finally get to eat!” Therese blurted out once they were seated at the main table. “But I’ll do it with just one hand because I don’t want to let go of yours…” she added gazing at Carol. “And you’d better eat a lot too,” Carol whispered kissing her cheek, “we have a wedding night to look forward to.” The sly look on her face was all too familiar to Therese who couldn’t but blush at knowing what was to come later.

“I absolutely adore the Givenchy you have on but at the same time I can’t wait to see you without it…” Carol’s hand wandered in the opening of her dress. “Carol!” Therese hissed in mock disapproval. “We could always go to the ladies’ room to powder our noses if you like?” Carol smiled at her deviously. “I bet we could! I know just what kind of nose business you have on your mind…” She kissed Carol languidly on the lips her whole body really needing what she had just so openly suggested.  

“The wedding night hasn’t officially started yet,” a voice said, “There are still other people present.” Abby and Gen were standing in front of them catching breath after their spin on the dance floor. They were very amused by what they’d just seen. “How long have you been standing there?” Carol asked. “Long enough to point out that the table spreads aren’t long enough to hide everything that goes on in their shadows…” Gen was chuckling.

“Who was the gorgeous gal you were talking to over there at the bar?” she asked Abby. Her tone was suspicious. “Who..? Oh, _she_ came with the Finnish bartender, quite a looker, if you ask me!” Gen wasn’t amused. “Were you flirting with her?” Abby was tickled by her apparent jealousy. “Actually… _no, I wasn’t_.” Gen’s features softened. “She just seemed like a nice person, overtly emotional, maybe, but really nice. Did this answer your question, sweetie?” She gave Gen her loveliest smile.

“Where was she again?” Carol stood up looking around the dining area. “CAROL!” Therese exclaimed. “What? Don’t you want _your old lady_ to appreciate female beauty?” She had a devilish grin on her lips. “Okay, I guess I deserved that…” Therese mumbled finally getting the joke. The elusive party guest appeared at their sight. “Well, that Finnish bartender must have something going for her if she’s managed to catch _her_ …” they all agreed.

“Let’s eat…” Gen said sitting at the table next to Abby. “Honey, will you pass me the salt?” Looking at Gen’s plate, Abby had an irritated look on her face. “You haven’t even tasted your food yet and you want to spoil it with iodine already? Give my catering company some credit, will you?” Gen knotted her brow. “But, honey…” Abby was quick to interrupt. “Well, why don’t I go and fetch you a _really_ big bottle of ketchup instead???” Both Therese and Carol tried to hide their amusement – with rather poor results.

* * *

Therese was dancing with Rindy when Gen came to get her. “I think this could be the moment, don’t you think?” Therese nodded growing nervous all of a sudden. “What moment?” Rindy demanded to know. “You’ll see, sweet pea… go and sit with your Mommy, okay?”

Picking up the microphone, Therese felt quite out of place. She had never done anything like what she was about to do now. _Well, it’s another first for today…_ She cleared her throat. “Listen, everybody, I have something I’d like to do… for my lovely wife…” Surprised, Carol looked at her very closely. “So bear with me for a couple of minutes…”

Gen and a couple of other musicians were gathering around her with their instruments. A young woman Carol had never seen took Therese’s usual place behind the piano.  “As you can see, there’s someone else, my new friend Christina, taking my usual seat and I’m positively terrified of not being able to hide behind the keys…” She coughed once more.

“Carol, my love…” Therese smiled shyly. “It occurred to me that _I_ have never sung to _you_.” Her dimples were showing in the most marvelous way. “And of course it has everything to do with you being the singer in our little family.” She was blushing under Carol’s curious, loving gaze. “But with a little help from my friends I mustered up my courage and decided to do something about it.” She drew a quick breath and looked straight at Carol. “So, here it goes, pretty much everything I feel for you… I hope you like it.”    

 

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave?_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?_

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow._

_One step closer…_  

 

Feeling more confident already, Therese took a step closer to her newly wedded wife who had stood up to listen.

 

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

Carol had tears in her radiant eyes.

 

_Time stands still_

_Beauty in all she is_

 

Beaming, Therese winked at Carol. Her heart was full and she wasn’t afraid to show it. She would never be afraid anymore. 

_I will be brave_

_I will not let anything take away_

_What's standing in front of me_

_Every breath_

_Every hour has come to this_

_One step closer_   

 

How very close they were already – and still not touching quite yet…

 

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_   

 

The beat of the song was the beat of the serenity of love exhaling its exquisite fragrance all around the dance floor.

 

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

 

The music was swelling on the background, the strings taking over under Gen’s lead.

 

_One step closer_

_One step closer_

 

All of a sudden she was standing right in front of Carol her eyes sparkling of purest happiness.

 

_I have died every day waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

She had waited for this day her entire life.

 

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

 

Carol dried her eyes and took her hands. She was overcome by emotion, by the beauty that was Therese in front of everyone they knew and loved. Therese cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her on the lips, a long rapturous kiss that seemed to go on forever until the roaring applause from the crowd enveloped them in joy and affection.

Abby got up on her feet clearly moved by what she had just witnessed. Her usually so strong voice trembling just a tad, she took the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mrs and Mrs…” Overjoyed, Therese couldn’t help but interrupt her. “BELIVET!!!” she yelled at the top of her lungs throwing her hands victoriously in the air. It brought the house down everyone jumping on their feet and clapping their hands wildly.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Dannie wiping away tears, Gen whistling ecstatically, but with her heart’s eye she saw only Carol – Carol standing right next to her, moved beyond everything Therese had thought possible. The gray eyes filled with so much feeling she pulled Therese closer and pressed her head against her forehead. “I love you, my angel. Thank you – thank you for loving me so. I worship you, and I will till the end of my days…”

And while they were standing there, their heads bowed together, the glass ceiling seemed to open up, to burst into millions of rainbow rays, magnificent confetti raining down on them, rendering them ridiculously giddy with happiness.      

* * *

_A year and a half later_

“Shh… let’s not wake the baby…” Carol whispered in Therese’s ear. “I know it’s hard, but you _must_ keep it down, darling.” Therese was panting under her weight, bucking her hips towards her teasing fingers. “You… make… it… very…”, she grunted , “…difficult.” Her face nearly numb, she had hard time breathing. “Please, Carol… your mouth… now!” she begged her wife. As her beloved started moving her blonde head between her thighs, they heard a tiny screech from the nursery behind the wall.

Recognizing the sound, Carol froze for a second. “Oh god, don’t stop…” Therese whined helplessly. “Darling, you know as well as me that this’ll have to wait… hold that thought, I’ll only be a minute.” Putting on her robe, Carol fetched the milk bottle from the kitchen.

When she approached the little bed she saw two bright eyes staring back at her. The little, dimpled face was smiling. “Look who’s here all awake…” Carol purred gently picking up the cutest baby boy from his cot. “Your mama was just getting what she deserves, yes she was, before you interrupted us…” she cooed at him lovingly.

Carol felt Therese’s arms circle her waist warmly. Kissing Carol’s cheek, she leaned over her shoulder to gaze tenderly at their child. “Hey, Jack…”

T H E   ~~E N D~~   B E G I N N I N G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU, YOU'RE THE BEST. I've had so much fun!!!
> 
> You've been so kind cheering me on and I've appreciated every single comment I've received so far. Do leave a note below if the spirit moves you, I'd really appreciate it.
> 
> Love and kisses from the Finnish bartender <3
> 
> P.S. My plus one at the wedding was none other than Prince_Hel... LMFAO


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